"Based on a True Story" Notes I

She sat next to me, looking out at the water. I couldn't stop staring at her. Being close enough to her I could smell her. She smelled so good. I was already half in love with her, and now I was glad I had her to myself. She kicked her feet in the dark water. I put my hand down on top of hers. She jumped a little, pulling away. "Sorry," She mumbled.

"No, it's okay." I pulled my hand away smiling at her. She looked down and then replaced her hand. I tried again. She understood. 

She was great to hold hands with. She didn't sweat too much, and she moved her fingers around so I wasn't holding onto nothing. She let me play with her fingers when she talked. I don't even know what we talked about. She told me about her job. About weird locals. Old men who asked her to come home with them to cook them dinner. I told her about weirdos at my school. She told me about this boy who had a huge tongue and needed surgery. I told her about how I broke my ribs when I was seven. She told me about a brain tumor she had when she was fourteen. Now she was seventeen and beautiful. We held hands and kicked our feet in the water. 

"Are you glad you said yes?"

She looked over at me. "I think I am."

"You think? I have been a terrific date."

She smiled. "I have no point of reference."

"What? You're kidding."

"Nope."

"You?" 

She shrugged.

 "I've only dated one girl before, though, so I'm not a stud." I admitted. I smiled at her and squeezed her hand. 

"More than me."

"I seriously don't buy that. What about middle school? How many boyfriends did you have when you were in middle school?"

"None. I was out of school."

I looked down. "Have you ever kissed anyone?"

She laughed a little. "I don't know if it counts, but my gay cousin taught me how."

"I'll say it counts." I said smiling at her.

"I mean, she taught me pretty well. It was the summer before I went to the hospital, and she had me practice a lot."

"Wait, if it's a lesbian I don't know if that counts."

"Then I've never been kissed."

"Huh."

"Is that weird?"

"No. I don't think so."

"Good. I was worried."

I looked at her. "Do you secretly hate me?" I asked suddenly.

"What? No."

"Okay."

"Why would you ask that?"

"I just didn't want you to like resent me or anything."

"Why?"

"I want to kiss you."

"You do?"

"I've never kissed a girl who kissed like a lesbian."

"I bet that means I'm lousy."

"It's pretty easy."

She looked at me. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Don't do it now, I want to make it feel more normal."

"Whatever you say."

She took my hand in hers and we sat there. 

"Did I tell you that you looked really nice tonight?" I said softly.

"No." She looked up.

"You look very nice tonight."

"Thank you." She held my hand with both of hers and we sat there.

I reached over with my other hand, touching her under her chin. With one touch her head moved to the side. I leaned in very close to her lips. She filled in the remaining space. Her lips tasted like peppermint. There are several reasons why I am thankful for lesbians. This is one of them. I never knew kissing could be so perfect. We kissed. She let go of my hand. Without any help, she moved her hands through my hair. It felt so nice. I moved my hand around her waist, pressing it into her opposite hip. 

Her mouth tasted like coke. She hadn't been drinking. She was just drinking coke. 

I was in love. I knew it.

Thoughts?

I've noticed I've got some people looking at my last post. Have you read the original? Are you interested in a new version? I am trying to make the story more interesting. Let me know in a short comment. I'm pretty sure you don't have to own a blog to comment. I am just curious. The last time I went in for a rewrite people got mad at me. I just want to know if someone cares.

Last Place You Look Rewrite in the Works

I am currently dabbling around with a "Last Place You Look" rewrite. I finished the first chapter and will be working to see if I can pull this together. I will try not to abandon this, but who knows. I will be keeping a lot of the same characters, maybe change some names, but nothing huge.

I have just been rereading and finding a lot of things I thought I could have done better, which I decided to try to see if I could. I just want to finish a project and figure this might be a nice chance. I already rewrote this story once, but it's been a good three or four years since I've touched it.

Let's give it a try.

I was just rereading "Last Place You Look" while listening to The Early November. That story changed me. I don't remember who I was when I wrote them, I just remember exactly how everything appeared in my mind while writing.

Elisa was exactly who I wanted to be. I am following in her footsteps, slowly but surely. I applied for a job at a coffeeshop, finally. I had my first interview today.

Thank you if you read those stories, or are reading those stories. You changed my life. I wrote them for you.

We hit 10,000 views on Last Place You Look. Amazingness.

I might come back.

I have a story brewing, and it seems to fit the content of this penname. We'll see.

"Either Or"

I have told you about this story on here, I think. It came to me a few months ago- probably over the summer- and it's just flourished in my mind as something actually solid. I'm titling it "Either Or" for now, but I think it'll stick. It fits the idea of the story pretty well, in a lot of ways actually. And I'm really excited about it, so read on for my gushing:

My writing process is non-existent I guess. But I recently started trying to flesh out ideas for stories that were more original. At least, more original in terms of the few story plots in the Sarah Dessen catagories. Reading some of these stories- especially mine- they're all about one relationship -it's growth is the back-bone of the story: rising events, climax, and denuemet (sp?) and all. But I started writing "Lazarus" and this, and I realized that my first stories worked stories worked (while "All We Ever Needed" failed), and wanted to go to the next level.

"Lazarus" isn't so far from "Perfect Kisses" or "Last Place" but it's at least out of Kerrington, and I hope more real and better written. With "Either Or" I want to completely depart from that writing style for a little while and try it out.

It's told from a boy's POV, who is unlike Will and more likeable and funny- I think. But I'm going to make it more about him. Not about his sex life. (Laugh please, I'm not being harsh and bitter.) Plus, I'm adding more themes and symbols and totally sprucing up my writing even more. I hope I keep it going. I can totally see the main character and hear him, so it'll be good. At least I'd read it if I stumbled upon it on FanFiction.

Anyways, get ready. I'm starting writing now, and then posting it when I finish "Lazarus", which will hopefully be by the middle of spring, but probably by summer.

Update for the past half month:

Hello,

I have been reading a lot lately, and watching a lot of inspiring films. It's funny, because I've grown a lot as a reader over the past year. And then I talk to kids my age and they don't know the difference between John Green and David Levithan. I don't read any of them anymore, and I know all of that stuff. It's kind of sad at the same time, all kids want to read is this weird new wave of vampire literature. Don't get me wrong, I see why that might be attractive. But there is so much good teen literature out there. Read it. Devour it, kids. Then pick up "Catcher in the Rye" and join me in the world of American literature.

Anyways: my writing.

New story idea and coming right out of the darkness. It started as just a faint idea, and now is really taking shape. It's from the point-of-view of a boy named Matt, and it's pretty good. Kind of "All We Ever Needed"-esque, but I'll stick it into a new catagory.

I am really happy actually, because I'm departing from that whole emo-love-story thing. And I'm name-dropping a lot less music in my writing, which always helps. I am happy people are reading my stuff too. I have a new wave of readers, and they're all pretty quiet, but I'm given more free range.

I can't get into Peter's point-of-view, either. Freaky.

Jaseyray

Hello,

I have updated a little recently, and I've been brainstorming a lot, but it's been hard to keep up with it because I have Mid-years all week. However, I have some really cool ideas for some awkward "first" things for the story. They're pretty funny actually.

I might start posting on here more, in Peter POVs or Alyssa POV or Harper POV or Tyler POV. I might sketch a Tyler POV out right now, that'd be fun.

But I have a new character I can't wait to unlease onto the story. Very Jonah-esque.

JaseyRay

How is everyone? I haven't written on here in a while, so I'll update.

Story's going great. I am really paying attention to the content and how well my writing is. I wrote this obscenely hypocritical chapter and edited it. Now I'm really getting into the character's for the next one. It's pretty big, and I'll try my best not to make it corny.

See, I haven't touched a cheesy love story in probably a year or more, so I'm rusty. I want to make this story realistic and yet pretty entertaining and meeting to what is required for a love story now. Except I still want to play with what's expected.

I am not writing as much as I'd like to, its my awful procrastination, but I'm getting on track don't worry. Plus, my winter break's coming up, so I'll have tons to update then when I decide to ignore my reading to write. Get ready, kids.

I'm sorry to complain, but I'm getting really frustrated actually because of this no reviews thing. I know people might be busy, but I have been posting a lot and writing a lot, and I'd like to hear back.

Oof.

This no reviews thing it killing me. It's gettign juicy and nobodys talking. Silly geese, review. I lahve ya.

Notes will start to be posted, especially of the old version.

There always seems to be this weird drop-off on my stories when people stop reviewing. Now's the real test. Can I stay inspired long enough to keep posting without any reviewing readers?

Kayla has always looked like the girl in this photo for me. I think it's Charlie Sheen next to her, but I've yet to find out who the heck this mystery girl is, so she'll just stay Kayla for me. The original Kayla was supposed to have dark hair, but it's like, c'mon. How unoriginal is that? I've done that ten fold. So I made Kayla a brown-red-head. Hope that's okay.

Excuse: Fanfiction just rebooted my account after I wrote probably 1,500 words for the next chapter. Eff you, FF. It actually came out good and you delete it. However, it's a weekend, so I might just type it fast.

I am impressed with the amount of reviews I have been getting. Nearly 2 for every chapter, kudos. They're not that consistent, but I am lucky to have peeps still reading my dabbling. Especially since I am super rusty on the whole "writing" aspect of this thing.

I'm juicing it up, and am having a little fun doing so. I haven't read a Sarah Dessen book in over two years now, so I'm proud of myself. Except I find my writing more male-populated than hers. Huh, guess that's what I get when all I do is read man-books.

I have so much fun writing Peter though. I am so amused by the fact that he is based look-wise on a literary Peter, whom I absolutely adore. Now my characters aren't based on members from my favorite bands, but instead on writers from the 50s. Sheesh.

I don't have any cool notes to post, mainly because I can't do so without ruining the fun.

Nntz nntz nntz.

I am embracing my inner Kayla a little now. Making her super miserable and whiney, but adding a little person-ality.

First Incarnation: Kayla's POV --- Meeting original Peter

So since I have been a busy bee writing and not posting and deleting and rewriting, here's a little thing I found.

(NB: MY first incarnation of the story featured the same characters with the exceptions of Kayla and Peter and Alyssa. I drastically changed everything after being inspired by an indie movie, and re-modeled the three above characters. Peter being the most drastic, so here is the original Peter as described by Kayla the first time she [literally] met him. That is only because he was some kid from another town.)

kayla's pov

I waited for the next boy to come up to the window, still blushing from the first's comment about my sister. Even people from the next town knew everything about her. I looked up at the boy, he was porky- not grossly chubby, but he was a little. He had short brown hair and blue eyes, and he didn't smile at me right away. In fact he looked at my shyly. "Can I help you?" I was obligated to ask.

"Oh, yeah," He said softly. "I'll have a cup of rocky road."

I nodded, getting a cup out and walking down a few freezers to scoop. There wasn't anyone else in line, just him. Harper had this one family a few windows down. "Are you guys busy today?" I lifted my head to see him looking at me through the row of windows, he hadn't moved but instead called out to me.

"Kind of," I said packing in his ice cream. "Nobody usually comes that much on Tuesdays. But it was kind of hot... I guess." I got him more, one more scoop which we usually promised but never actually gave out.

Then I walked down to my little register. He wasn't disgusting. He was kind of cute I guess. I guess I just noticed how chunky he was because he wore a fitted t-shirt instead of a baggy one like most chubby kids wore. I got him a spoon and he took out his wallet.

"It'll be two-seventy-five." I said, not thinking or looking at him.

He fished out a five. "I usually have exact change," He said. "Sorry."

I shrugged, glancing at the money. "It's fine," I smiled a little. I felt him looking at me. I got him change, avoiding eye contact, because most boys who stare at you are creeps. I handed him his money back, and he smiled at me.

"Thank-"

"Come on, dude," One of his friends said impatiently. "You're taking forever."

He looked back at me. "Thank you," He said. "I'm sorry about my friends, especially Calvin. He can be a real douche-bag sometimes, don't take it personally."

I nodded, smiling weakly out of embarrassment. "I'll try not to,"

He took a bite of ice cream, reacting to it with shock and wonder. "Geez," He said. "Your recipe has improved sicne I last came here..." He looked at the cup intently. "I might have to come back soon."

I smiled a little tucking hair behind my ear. He smiled at me, in a way that made me realize how much of an actor he was. "I'll see you later then," I said laughing a little.

He started to walk backwards. "I think you might," He said. Then he turned and headed back to his friends. I really didn't know what to think. Guys never liked me, or flirted with me. Was he flirting? I had no idea. It had never happened before. I watched him walk away before I turned back catching a smile from Harper.

"He was cute," She said laughing to herself. He was kind of goofy, but I didn't really know if I despised him or found him to actually be kind of cute.

I kind of like "Lazarus" more and more as I read it. I haven't been writing a lot since my abrupt stop on good old FanFiction, but I am pretty into this. I have a system now too, to keep my updates rolling in.

I write a chapter and then have to write another in order to post it. I have a couple sitting on my document manager, and they're pretty juicy. There's one that's pretty long but it feels rushed. But it's a little important so I might write a few more chapters before I post that one to make sure it's really good.

But I am nervous that Kayla is a very dead character. I need to put more thoughts into her head I guess. Make her a little more complicated, I just don't relate to her too much right now.

Hopefully it gets good.

So "Lazarus" is up.

It's a hyvrid of a piece I fashioned specifically for FanFiction and one that has come up naturally. That being said neither story at all resembles the other. I stole one character from my natural story and stuck him in. But I am interested in it, and am looking to really take it up a notch from whatever "Last Place" and "Perfect Kisses" was.

So expect that. I may post tonight, but I might feel it out a little more.

Story is coming along. It's very juicy and concerned with the romance at the moment. But it's almost ready for posting. I might put up a little taste of it. Just to see if I have anyone left.

I just need a title for it.