And the drumroll ceases...

My fanfiction is updated.

Happy Holidays!

So Happy Holidays everyone!

I'm here to say you might have a belated gift. I'm working on "All We Ever Needed" again. And suspending "Last Place" and "Perfect Kisses." For the time being. I'm thinking of starting up another writing project but it doesn't look like it's coming together as a cheesy love story and I don't think it fits my story writing themes under this name.

Oh well. I'm working on it.

I miss you all and I'm going to have it up soon. I keep talking about it, but I don't know what I'm doing really. It's hard getting back into something you haven't done in a while but I've found out I forgot where I was going where I last left off with it. I'm not going to say my writing will be up to par but it will be me trying to get back into it.

So happy holidays and I'll get back to writing. I have to say I have typos less often now. Which is awesome! Woo!

Happy happy happy happy holidayssss!

And so it's the new year.

I met my hero this weekend and was a crying sobbing mess when I did. Ironically it was the lead singer of the band that inspired the fictional emo-darlings Sunday Drive. It changed my life. I feel reborn.

I started writing "All We Ever Needed" for you guys. It's slow and painful and jumpy but I'm trying to get Will's voice back. I forgot everyone's names too. Oof.

I don't know if you guys feel like this but this FanFiction girl hasn't posted anything in a while and I wanna shake her to death. She needs to update! I need to find out if this girl and guy are getting together in her story! Ah!

distance makes the heart grow fonder.

no idea what i want to do now with my writing. i might start up "all we ever needed" again. i wonder if people still remember it..

pov/setting?: a secret

He was so close to me. He was right there. There was a balance know. I knew my place. I was in the middle. There was a tug inside of me in two directions. There wasn't a direction per person, because I knew it wasn't that simple. What did I want? What did I always want? I knew that deep down. I knew he was always there. I swallowed and felt his breath on my lip. I moved my hand up into his hair.

I could see the image of what I had headed towards. What had been either chosen for or by me. I didn't know, but now there was no knowing what to do. I was helpless. I inched back a little, but in the end I gave in. Our lips met.

Perfection was embodied.

Now. It wasn't too late. I felt breath disappear inside of me and I pulled away. Our lips had barely been touching in the first place. I moved my hands to his face cradling it. He was so perfect for me. I dropped my hands and dropped my head to his shoulder. I didn't believe I was letting myself lose him. But now there was the decision to be made.

"I can't," I whispered.

His arms encircled me. "This hurts so much," I whispered.

"I know," He answered.

"We can't," I said. He squeezed me. I felt warm in his arms. I felt the word heavy in the air. Mistake. Mistake. Mistake. Stop. Now. Take it back. Take it back. Take it back. You ruined everything. I hated myself with all of my heart. I could never forgive myself for this. He kissed my forehead and we moved apart.

He got up slowly and started to walk out like he said he would. I swallowed and looked at him. "I love you," I said. "I always will, it's just..."

He turned and looked at me. "We could have made it," He said. "I think so. I never thought I'd say that, but we could have."

I stared at him. He smiled weakly. "You look beautiful tonight," He said. I froze and stared at him. My heart started racing. I could hear it reverberate in my head. He smiled weaker and then turned and left. I was in shock. My eyes welled up with tears. Now. Now. Now. Don't let this go.

I got up. I ran and called out his name.

There was no answer. Not even an echo.

pov/setting?: a secret

I was still. My bones were frozen and bonded together in a still unmoving position. I felt the whole dug deep in my chest. It was there. It was always there. I stared at the back of my eyelids and felt suddenly some form of warmth radiate out of my insides. I remembered his voice. Everything he's said to me that has actually stuck after all of this. It made the ache worse but I felt the slightest relief. I went through all I knew about him. Every detail, every moment, ever song... it was all right there. His touch was always there on me somehow. I didn't have signs of him anywhere but inside of me. His fingerprints were everywhere. I picked them up and looked at them. I examined every touch. I felt happiness and the deep, deep pain. I couldn't feel anything else. It was a need. A want. A passion. It was like someone had taken all my life and compacted it into a feeling. A trigger in my mind was off. I remembered when we met. When we first kissed. When I first felt this feeling in small inanimate doses. He reshaped my life. He reshaped all I had ever known. I was denying it deep down. But I was so aware of it. The emotion was intoxicating. The feeling was an addiction. It wasn't fulfilling- but it was something- I was going to feel this for the rest of my life. As long as he existed to me. As long as I didn't cast him aside as some sick daydream. As a myth. People like him had to exist. I needed to know that. Because I'd never feel this again if he didn't.

I was in love for the first time. And it had been my love's demise.

"use somebody" paramore

hi

i'm feeling quite a lot lately. a mix of emotions. i've felt stress. i've felt happiness. i've felt hate. i've felt like i am a traitor. i've felt betrayed. i've felt stragely out of place. i've felt like i belong.

i'm feeling motivated to write a certain story but i don't know why. i'm extremely confused by this but this is where it starts.

and off we go! prepare for some notes.

jaseyray

"island" the starting line

hey

i'm writing in paul's pov lately. i'm working on "perfect kisses" and what not. BUT i saw this kid who is the new image of both paul and my character lace in my new story today twice. once on my way to math and then on my walk home DRIVING IN THE LANDCRUISER THAT INSPIRED MY WRITING PIECE ABOUT LACE!

so ironic. had to share.

jaseyray