What if One-shot

I stood there. This was it. The last goodbye for all of this. The best year of my life was ending. I moved my hands into my pockets and looked around. I had no idea where she was, but I just waited- searching for dark blue. A pair of hands covered my eyes and I smiled peeling them off. I turned around and there she was. She smiled leaning up to kiss me. "You look so depressed," She said softly smiling. I moved my fingers through her hair.

"I'm not," I said. I kissed her forehead and moved my arms down her back. She pressed her face into my chest. I moved my arms tighter around her.

She stepped back and kissed me again. "Tonight was perfect," She said smiling at me. I loved when she smiled at me like this. A year ago I thought this was never possible. And here she was. I kissed her. "I know," I said softly.

She wove her fingers into mine and turned looking around. "Rainie!" Someone called. We looked over and it was Allison. And instantly Rain squeezed my hand beside me.

"Hi," She said faking a smile. I hung back swallowing. Paul was here.

"I didn't see you at all tonight," Allison said. "You look so pretty."

"You too," Rain said to be polite. I ran a hand through my hair awkwardly looking around for him. He had his back to us- having no idea Allison was over here.

"So what's new?" She asked brightly. "What colleges are you both going to?"

Rain looked at me exchanging a look. "Chicago," I said. "We're both going."

"Oh," Allison said smiling. "Good for you. I'm going to Brown in Boston, and Paul's going to Chicago too. I got into Chicago but my parents went to Brown so I had to go there."

Rainie smiled for her. I could tell. Paul was going to Chicago. Fuck. "That's such a good school." Was all she came up with to say. They went back and forth. Asking about this and about that. I just stood there listening and tuning them out slowly.

I looked over and saw Elisa. I looked at Rain. "I'll be right back." I said.

She gave me a look like don't-leave-me but I had to say goodbye to Elisa. I walked over to her- even though we haven't spoken in a month or two. I waved and she nodded looking down. "Hey," I said smiling a little.

"Hi," She said softly.

"So," I said. "How was prom?"

She shrugged a shoulder. "Uneventful," She said quietly. "How about you?"

I shrugged. "Alright," I didn't want to rub in her face that I had a great time. I spent the whole time with Rain and we just talked and danced a little- not much. She was gorgeous and she was perfect. I slipped my hands into my pockets. "Who did you go with?"

She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "Matt Godrick," She said quietly.

I paused. I heard her and Nathan broke up a few weeks ago. "What happened with you and Nathan?" I asked.

She swallowed. "He broke up with me," She said softly. "We were together a year and it was right on our anniversary."

I stared at her. "I'm sorry," I said quietly.

She shrugged. "I don't know why I stayed with him." She said. "I just thought I'd end up alone or something." I remembered our last conversation. It was Sunday Drive and we were sitting at IHOP. Rainie was in the bathroom and Jonah was asleep. Jeremy long gone. It started with normal conversation and ended with I'm sorry I even said anything. I take it back.

I never second-guessed that Rainie loved me. I knew somewhere she did- she'd always love Paul and I can't compete with him, but here was Elisa. A girl who said she thought she had feelings for me and that they were stronger than her feelings for Nathan. That's what it was like so long ago last summer when I did the same thing Elisa did but to Rainie.

"I'm sorry," I said again.

She nodded. I felt bad. "What college are you going to?" She changed the subject.

"Chicago," I said.

She nodded. "My dad teaches there," She said. "He does English classes. It's a nice school."

I nodded. She looked over my shoulder. "Rain's waiting," She informed me. I nodded looking at Elisa. She was pretty. Her hair was black now. She looked tired and she was wearing a black short dress. She was much darker than Rainie and could actually wear black witohut looking pale. She was pretty, and I opened my mouth.

"I want to stay in touch," I said. "You were one of my closest friends and I miss talking to you."

She stared at me. Her eyes were two different colors tonight. I couldn't look in them too long.

"Who knows," I said. "If things were different, maybe we would have ended up together and who knows what will happen eventually, but I don't want to lose touch with you because of something like that."

She nodded. "Who knows," She said quietly. "It could have happened with us."

I nodded. "I have to get going soon, but I'll email you this weekend."

She nodded. "Stay in touch," I got suddenly she was mocking me. We wouldn't stay in touch. It was like Rain and Paul. They always say they're friends but they really aren't. I stepped closer to her and hugged her. She sat there stiff in my arms and I walked away over to Rainie. She kissed me. "Ready to go?" She asked.

I smiled. "Yeah," I said. "If you are."

I meant Paul. She wanted to talk to Paul. I knew she did. She nodded. "Come on," She says. We got into my car and pulled out. She put on a Sunday Drive CD and turned it up. She staretd singing and smiling and laughing. She was beautiful. And when we pulled into her driveway we turned it down and turned all the lights off. I kissed her. "I love you Rain."

She just kissed me. And still, I told myself not to doubt her. She had to love me at least a little bit.