"Last Place You Look" The Get Up Kids

Hi

I've done this one a lot in Bennett's POV even though I just introduced him in my rewrite. BUT! Here goes nothin' hahah. Song reference. "Check... check... check 1, 2... alright... Here Goes Nothing" - Christopher Drew.

Setting: Friday in Early November
Bennett's POV

I hooked up my guitar. And started playing. Not paying attention to anything. Falling into the songs I let out of me. It didn't matter if the room was full of could-have-been's and people I lost touch with. All that went away. Friends or enemies, I forgot the difference. It was just me. And my guitar. And it made everything go away. The pain. The loneliness. Everything. Wiped clean off of me. I sang to girls I lost. The girl's who got away. The friends who gave up. But it was never so good to feel nosalgic.

My eyes didn't focus at all around me. I heard soft voices but played over them. Not knowing how loud I could get my voice in that tiny room. Or how loud I could play. I just let go. Of everything. And everyone. And held all I needed close to me. Until finally it boiled down to one song. And that was it.

And I played it best I could. My voice rising through the crowd. My mind off of everything. Until slowly it crept back as I finally let the silence take over, and I calmed down. People clapping. And saying I did a good job. I looked over and saw Rainie and Paul talking softly to each other.

How badly I wanted that. But I'd never tell anyone. That was my gret secret in all of this. Keeping the fact that I wanted that so badly. I wanted everything Paul had but knew I wasn't good enough.

A girl came up to me. I hooked up with her over the summer. I forgot her name, which was embarrassing. And she smiled at me. "Hey, Bennett, you were really good."

I smiled a little. "Thanks," I said.

She tucked hair behind her ear. "So are you busy tonight?" She asked. I suddenly looked over her shoulder seeign her. She was walkin in the other direction.

I swallowed looking at the girl. "Sorry, I'm actually hanging out with my friend." I said.

"Oh, cool," She said. Disapointed. "I'll see you later maybe, I'll be hanging around so if you get bored..."

"Yeah, sure." I said. And stepped around her. "Elisa!" I said. She was jsut going upstairs. And she turned. I realized she was alone. She turned and instantly I knew. There are times I guess when we have to forget ourselves and put other people in front of us.

She looked so small. So scared of the world. So vulnerable. I just knew she knew about Nathan. She turned and came over to me. She tugged her hair, something I noiced she does a lot. "I just found out this morning." She said softly.

And suddenly I jsut felt myself stepping closer. My arms moving around her. She was so small. And she didn't pull away. She moved in. I held her. Taking in the smell of her skin. Making my heart pound. Holding her wasthe greatest feeling in the world. It was like holing all I ever wanted and wished for, right there close to me. And her arms wrapped softly around me. Breathing. I wasn't Bennett Williams. I wasn't anyone. I was just her friend. Someone to hold onto.

I was her Catcher in the Rye. And I let go of her. Knowing if I held on I wouldn't be able to let go. And I looked at her. "Do you want to talk about it?" She looekd a little overwhelme by this. And unsure of what to say. "Do you want me to get you a drink?"

And she breathed. "Yes,"

* * *

We were sitting and talking. My stomach stopped shaking and my heart pounded slower. I jsut looekd at her. Listening. And telling her all I knew. She nodded. Not surprised I knew. I think somehow it all mde sense But I tried so hard to protect her from that.

But I changed the subject somehow. The world going o around s. We jsut sat on that couch the two of us. Alone in the world. And it was perfect. She was beautiful. When she smiled. And when she laughed. Somehow she didn't seem ot be the same person I started this cconversation with. She was new. She was jsut herself. And that's all I could have asked from her.

I smiled finally looking at her. Leaning nto my arm and turning my body toward her. I jsut looked at her. "Elisa," And she looked up. Draining me of all confidence I had. And suddenly she seemed to too.

"I should go," She said. She took out her phone checking the time. I felt all of this slipping away. "It's late."

I paused. "I'll walk you home." I said quickly.

And she looked at me a little surprised. Hesistating. I don't think she could tell my heart was racing. I was scrambling for any excuse to be with her longer. "I'm leaving too, we live right near each other."

She finally nodded. "Okay," And we walked out together. Nobody noticing. We slipped away. Out into the night. The cool air settling in slightly. Pressing agaisnt my skin. But my heart was going so fast. And I felt just warm. I breathed. Seeing my breathe in front of me. Her footsteps silent beside me. I swallowed and listened ot them. Knowing they were there. That she was still with me. I jsut didn't know how to make sure.

"I'm breaking up with Nathan." She said suddenly. Her voice soft. Warm and gentle. Slipping inside of me. Thin and sweet. I looked at her in the dark. And suddenly it came out in the only way it could. The only way I could let it.

"Elisa," Her name was the most beuatiful sound ever. "I know I've said this before," I breathed, my voice sounded so strane in the open. Moving from my lips to her ears. I wondered if hering it was almsot te same- even so slightly- as it was hearing hers in this silence of November. "But you're such a beautiful person. And someone like Nathan, even if he changed, couldn't see that. Next to Nathan you just fade away. Being with the right person shouldn't do that to you. You belong with someone who sees how beautiful of a person you are and would never do this to you. Nobody in their right mind would cheat on you if they really cared about you and got to know you. You're one of the most incredible people I've ever met. I feel like I know you so much even if we ony met a little while ago."

And she was silent. The silence eating me up. Swallowing me into the dark of night. She was a silhouette beside me. Silent. That short speech hanging in the air with all I had. Al the power I could muster up wth a few words were out there. Hanging in the cool November breeze. She heard them I knew. It was how she took them in that made me even more nervous.

I jsut wanted her to know I was there. That I always would be.

But thesidewalk ended, bringing us down the worn roard across the street. A streetlight misplaced shining down on the sidewalk. We stopped. Both at once. Both conciously. And she looked up at me. Her eyes bright as the skn around them were washed out. Her face pale.And somehow it hid any flaw. She was perfect in the outside world- not only to me. And I just looked at her. She tugged her hair. "So I guess this is goodbye." She said softly.

Her voice was so perfect. And I looked back at her."Goodnight," I said. But she didn't move. She just looked back at me. Her eys still drops of the sky. Smooth and gentle. Reflected off of the world. She was beautiful. And I tried my best not to let my heart win. I fought so hard, but I gave in. The pounding in my chest made me feel sure. And I stepped closer to her.

Knowing there was no going back. It's the babysteps we take and never take back. And I leaned down, finding her lips. I kissed her. My lips pressing agaisnt hers. And instantly. I knew. I ruined everything. We weren't friends anymore. I lost her before I even had her. She would push me away. Say she wasn't ready for this kind of thing. Ready to open her heart up to someone.

Then suddenly her hands moved to my hair. And I realized she was kissing me back. Her lips partingslightly against mine. I closed my eyes tighter. Kissing her. Feeling my heart speeding. So fast it barely seemed ot bealive in my chest. But it never was so real and full of life before now. And so under a streetlight I kissed her. The light spilling down in all the dakrness and silence of the world.

My life was so awake in the dead of night. My fingers traced her skin. The smoothness and whiteness beneath them made me forget everything. And all I could think about was all of this feeling inside of me. But our lips moved apart. My forehead lean against hers. And I tried catching my breathe. Not knowing it was long gone.

I knew she'd pull away now at least. That one moment I'd never forget. Her lips against mine. And her hands in my hair. And having her so close. I would always have this with me. This one fraction of the universe. Tiny and full of more meaning than the universe together. I kissed the corner of her mouth. Ready to pull away- leaving the only slightest invisible mark on her skin.

But her mouth met mine again. And she kissed me again. My arms moving around her. I held her close. And suddenly I had all I ever wanted. She was mine. She was mine. For tonight Elisa Loren was mine.

* * *

In the dark I kissed her. The light of the streetlight gone. Behind us. Always there for me to relive it. But here I was holding her close. So scared of what was happening. But I couldn't let her go. My lips moving agaisnt hers like poetry, my mind racing and my heart speeding. We moving in a gentle dance. So slowly it was as if we moved at the speed of theworld and time going by beneath our feet. But she sank down to my bed. I came down with her. My lips not moving away from hers.

And we jsut kissed. Her lips setting my mind on fire. She was so beautiful. I didn't care give this long moment, drawn out an extended for anything. And suddenly her hand moved down to my chest. Her palm flat feeling it slightly as first, but taking the role as a metal detector. Feeling the pounding and my heart racing. She pulled away. Lookign at me. Her eyes cuttign throguh the darkeness into mine. Her hand pressed agaisnt my chest feeling my heart racing through the fabric in between her flesh and mine. She took one of my hands. Lacing her fingers through mine and pressing it over the racing and pounding of her own heart.

They beat in rhythem. Perfect harmony infected and infested in both of us. I looked at her. Throguh the dark, feeling the corners of my mouth tipping upwards. I kissed her again. My lips finding hers. Letting all of the speed and feeling in my heart spill hopefully into her. To show her all I've hidden for what has felt like forever.

* * *

It was late. I tried not to sleep. Feeling her eyelashes, long and like her hair soft and gentle brushing my skin as she blinked. Her ear pressed to my heart. She's been fightign this fr a while ut finally it came out. "I should go," She whispered. The silence had won until now.But here she was overpowering it finally.

"No," I said. I kissed the top of her head. "Stay, for me."

She sat up. Herlegs slipping to either sides of mine and she found a shirt. Covering herself she sat up. But I did too. Losing her for tonight was something I'd never give into. She was mine. Nobody else's. I wanted her to stay mine.

I ksised her. My lips meetin hers and making her stop. She kissed me back. Her fingers moving into my hair with one hand. And she kissed me back. Knocking me back a hundred feet. "I have to go," She said again. "You're parent's are going to hear me."

I shook my head. "My mom works till ten. My dad lives four towns over." She paused. Knowing this. I was alone tonight. Of all nights if she left. And she hesitated. Pressing her lips to mine once before pulling away again and getting off of me. And I watched her. Her shape moving. She got her bra sitting on the edge of my bed.

She was so light she barely made the mattress shift. I sat behind her. So she sat in between my legs. And took over. Her hands had been reaching back t do the clasp. I did it for her, doing what I had undone. And held her to me. My hands around her waist. I nuzzled her neck and let the warmth of her skin travel against mine. The two wamrths of our skin mixed together. Moving into my veins as well as- I assumed, her own. And we sat there for a few moments.

"I really do have to go home." She whispered. And she moved my hands away from my waist. And I sat back watching her pull her shirt on over her head. This was it. We weren't anything. AnythingI hadjust felt was just me. She just used me.

I couldn't see her doing that. She was Elisa. Beautiful and soft. Warm and gentle. She was everything I ever needed. But I watched her leaving me behind. She looked at me. "So," Her voice reached my ears. Stinging me. Poisoning me. "I guess this is goodbye."

I didn't say anything. I was done with this. I was different. I changed for her, and she used me. She was no different from all those girls. From Rainie. They just let ethink I'm something more than hook up and something to do on a boring night. I was her sweet revenge. And I was done.

"I'm never doing this again with you."

She turned. I heard her footsteps stop. I pulled my shity on over my head. And looked at the floor standing up. And it came out. A sick hurt voice. I listened to it, not even sure if it were mine or not. I wanted what Paul had. He had everything. And he lost it all twice. And now he had it for as long as fate had it laid out for him. Me. I had one night. I had one night for my heart to combust and stay in her hands. I had a few hours to have her heart in place of mine. Now I was alone again. I might as well have been talking to myself.

I lsot everything by gaining all I had ever wanted. All I ever needed was her to stop and see me there. See me. Not jsut accept me as a nicknack in her life. I wanted to be more than just the kind in her English class. The emo kid with the guitar and the songs. The kid who liked Sunday Drive. I wanted to be Bennett. I wanted her to know how much this meant. And suddenly my voice snapped. Crackling and sizzling up. Vulnerable and pathetic. "I need this to be more than one night."

And it was out in the open. There for her to take into her hands and hold onto or to push away. She could use that phrase and lie to me. Or be truthful. And suddenly I felt how close she was. She wov her fingers into mine stepping closer. In height it was the opposite. I was tall. She was short. And suddenly I felt the opposite. I was there for her to look at and cradle. I was hers to caress with her voice.

"This means everything."

And she was mine. For tonight.

Best stuff I ever wrote. I think at least. I stop and pick up my guitar sometimes and just pluck away. I'm starting to write songs and stuff. Nothing major. But it helps me. Tell me what you think. And it doesn't matter how long it is. I want to know everythig you felt. Quotes anything I can get. All I am writing here is preparation for the myth and the legend the big ol' "Last Place"rewrite.

So comment. I like reading stuff. I really do.

XD
Jasey Ray