Hi
Okay so I have enoguh material to post this all up on FanFiction. Tomorrow for sure.
Elisa's POV
I was standing there. I gave up. Walking out to get my coffee, planning on coming back soon. That kid with the Auto tune wouldn't sign the contract saying to drop it. I got my coffee and walked back in preparing ot say without it no deal.
"...I'm a huge fan of yours dude." AutoTune said. "You're my fucking idol."
"Thanks," Bennett said.
I smiled. "Hey," Bennett came over and kissed my forehead quickly.
"What's up?" He asked.
"We're trying to sign these guys," I said. "But Sean wants him to stop using Auto Tune."
Bennett nodded. He looked at the kid. His names Jeremy. "You use Auto Tune?" He asked.
Jeremy, you could tell, was cracking. "I'm trying not to, but you know, it goes with our sound, I guess."
The other guys jumped saying that it wasn't. They were all big Red Letter Day fans. you could tell. And in one quick singing session. Acapella and Bennett talking. We had Jeremy promising to put away the old Auto Tune.
They walked out following Sean to get some more details pounded out. I kissed Bennett. "Thank you," I said. "You just did three weeks of work for me in a few minutes."
He smiled. "That means more time for us." He said. "I'm here for four weeks you know."
I smiled kissing him again. "I know," I said. I moved away. "You know, one of the perks of dating Bennett Williams and co-owning a record label si you can bring him in and help you sign bands."
He laughed. "I know." He said. "That's why you keep me around huh?"
"Yeah," I said. "And the fact that you're cute."
He kissed me smiling. "I love you." He said again.
"I love you too."
"Ready to go?" He asked.
"Sure," I said. "Where are we going?"
"I haven't driven around Kerrington yet." He said. "And I haven't eaten either so I'm starving."
"Carol's." I said. "She gives me donuts for free now."
He smiled. "Jelly ones too." He said. "Not those crappy plain ones."
"Yep," I said. "Come on."
And he wove his fingers into mine and we left.
Rainie's POV
I walked out of my class. I hadn't payed attention at all. This kid named Adam caught up to me. "Rainie!" I turned. "Hey, uh, you forgot this." He handed me my notes.
"Oh," I said. I reached out and took them. My notes were probably my life bound up into a notebook. "Thank you." I tucked hair behind me ear.
"No problem." He said. "What have you been working on?"
He started wlakign with me. "In my stories you mean?" I asked.
"Yeah," He said. "What's your last one about?"
I paused. "This old woman has this problem. It's mental and she keeps having these spells where she goes back in time and is young and beautiful again and she's with this person who was there when she was really like that. And they make her not want to come back to her real age, and stuff. It's weird. And her family is being told by the doctors that she's going to die if she keeps going under these spells. I'm not done with it, but it'll be done soon."
He nodded. "That sounds cool," He said. "Can you give me a copy when you're done?"
I nodded. "Yeah, sure."
He smiled. "See you soon."
"Bye," I said. I kept walking. I thought about giving a copy to Paul. But I didn't think he'd care that much. But if I was gettign one to Adam anyways, I think Paul'd might like it.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
"Something That Produces Results" The Early November
Hi
Paul's POV
"Do you want something to drink?" I asked her.
"Sure," She said.
"We're out of beer," I said. "I was going to go get some." I opened the fridge.
She went under the sink and pulled out a box. I stopped looking at her. She took one tossing it to me. "Me and Elisa got bored sometimes," She smiled a little. She took one herself.
"Huh," I said. I opened mine. Taking a sip. She did the same.
We paused awkwardly. She climbed up so she was sitting on the counter. I swallowed. Opening my mouth. "The other night was-"
She nodded before I got the words out. "I know," She said. "A mistake."
"No," I said. "It wasn't that, it's just-"
"We're broken up." She said.
"Yeah," I said. "And I want to be friends with you again, and if we keep doing this it'll just be a bunch of one night stands."
She nodded. "We can be friends."
"I don't want either of us getting hurt." I said.
She paused lookign at me. "Why would we get hurt?" She asked.
I looked at her steadily. Not sure what to say. She swallowed. "I mean," She restarted. "We're older and everything. I mean this isn't high school anymore right?"
I nodded. "It's not." I said. I remembered feeling eighteen. That rush and that feeling. Just two nights ago.
"We can be friends." She said.
I nodded. "We can try."
She paused. Looking down. "Were you creeped out by my writing?" She asked.
"No," I said. "Why would I?"
She looked up. "Because it's fucked up." She said.
I paused. "I thoguht it was beautiful." I really didn't know what to say other than that. It was. I had been up all night reading. It was weird though. I always thought her writing was a little strange. But it's all metaphors. It was harder now because she wasn't around to explain it to me.
She smiled a little. "Thank you." She said.
* * *
We were just drinking and talking about her writing. "You see, the guy with the bloody hands represents the things he's done in the past," She said sipping her beer. "And how he's wlaking around with his regrets and his mistakes on his hands. And they are a apart of everythign he does because all of the things he touches get blood on them."
I nodded. "Oh," I said. "I get it."
"And when he meets that sick girl, she's the victim. The girl has been effected by someone bad who hides what they've done and don't have blood on their hands. And she gets smeared with blood too. When they shake hands. And she doesn't notice because you don't notice when things like that happen."
I nodded again. "And then when they say she's walking around covered in blood," I sipped my beer. "That only means that she's been effected by him."
"Yes," She said pointing at me. "Exactly."
"But she's not sick anymore." I said.
She swallowed looking at the ceiling thinking. "Because whatever happened to her was something bad and the guy with the bloody hands effected her in the way that took away all that bad and brought in good."
I nodded. "Oh," I said. I looked at her. "How did you think of that?"
She looked down blushing. She blushes more when she's drunk. I've never seen her blush like this before tonight. She shrugged. And looked at me. "You," She smiled a little. And I smiled back. She blinked tucking hair behind her ear.
"I'm sorry," She said. "I keep doing that." She finished off another beer.
I smiled a little. "It's okay." I wasn't that drunk. I was a little buzzed. But not much. I just felt happy. I stepped closer to her. Leaning on the counter next to her. She looked at me and smiled a little. She was so beautiful. I looked at her. And felt myself moving. Leaning in towards her. I kissed her again.
She pressed her lips against mine. I moved so I was standing in front of her. My hands on either side of her on the counter. I kissed her. Her mouth tasting so sweet. But it tasted more like beer.
"Paul," She said in between kissing me. "We can't do this."
I nodded, moving away. We were so close. And she jsut looked at me. She kissed me soflty on the lips. Moving away biting down into hers. I kissed her again. Her legs sliding around my waist. I carried her into my room presing her agaisnt the door when it closed. Her mouth was so sweet. I was eighteen. Had been for the past few hours.
I wondered if I was smearing her with blood now.
Bennett's POV
I looked over nextdoor. "Mrs. Shingles home?" I asked Elisa.
She looked at the car. "Maybe."
Jonah looked. "Shit, she hates me." He said. "Remember when she threatened to strangle me with her hose?"
I laughed. "Who could forget?" I asked.
Elisa was still staring. I slid my hand around her waist. Kissing her temple. We went inside. It was feeling more like fall now.
Paul's POV
"Do you want something to drink?" I asked her.
"Sure," She said.
"We're out of beer," I said. "I was going to go get some." I opened the fridge.
She went under the sink and pulled out a box. I stopped looking at her. She took one tossing it to me. "Me and Elisa got bored sometimes," She smiled a little. She took one herself.
"Huh," I said. I opened mine. Taking a sip. She did the same.
We paused awkwardly. She climbed up so she was sitting on the counter. I swallowed. Opening my mouth. "The other night was-"
She nodded before I got the words out. "I know," She said. "A mistake."
"No," I said. "It wasn't that, it's just-"
"We're broken up." She said.
"Yeah," I said. "And I want to be friends with you again, and if we keep doing this it'll just be a bunch of one night stands."
She nodded. "We can be friends."
"I don't want either of us getting hurt." I said.
She paused lookign at me. "Why would we get hurt?" She asked.
I looked at her steadily. Not sure what to say. She swallowed. "I mean," She restarted. "We're older and everything. I mean this isn't high school anymore right?"
I nodded. "It's not." I said. I remembered feeling eighteen. That rush and that feeling. Just two nights ago.
"We can be friends." She said.
I nodded. "We can try."
She paused. Looking down. "Were you creeped out by my writing?" She asked.
"No," I said. "Why would I?"
She looked up. "Because it's fucked up." She said.
I paused. "I thoguht it was beautiful." I really didn't know what to say other than that. It was. I had been up all night reading. It was weird though. I always thought her writing was a little strange. But it's all metaphors. It was harder now because she wasn't around to explain it to me.
She smiled a little. "Thank you." She said.
* * *
We were just drinking and talking about her writing. "You see, the guy with the bloody hands represents the things he's done in the past," She said sipping her beer. "And how he's wlaking around with his regrets and his mistakes on his hands. And they are a apart of everythign he does because all of the things he touches get blood on them."
I nodded. "Oh," I said. "I get it."
"And when he meets that sick girl, she's the victim. The girl has been effected by someone bad who hides what they've done and don't have blood on their hands. And she gets smeared with blood too. When they shake hands. And she doesn't notice because you don't notice when things like that happen."
I nodded again. "And then when they say she's walking around covered in blood," I sipped my beer. "That only means that she's been effected by him."
"Yes," She said pointing at me. "Exactly."
"But she's not sick anymore." I said.
She swallowed looking at the ceiling thinking. "Because whatever happened to her was something bad and the guy with the bloody hands effected her in the way that took away all that bad and brought in good."
I nodded. "Oh," I said. I looked at her. "How did you think of that?"
She looked down blushing. She blushes more when she's drunk. I've never seen her blush like this before tonight. She shrugged. And looked at me. "You," She smiled a little. And I smiled back. She blinked tucking hair behind her ear.
"I'm sorry," She said. "I keep doing that." She finished off another beer.
I smiled a little. "It's okay." I wasn't that drunk. I was a little buzzed. But not much. I just felt happy. I stepped closer to her. Leaning on the counter next to her. She looked at me and smiled a little. She was so beautiful. I looked at her. And felt myself moving. Leaning in towards her. I kissed her again.
She pressed her lips against mine. I moved so I was standing in front of her. My hands on either side of her on the counter. I kissed her. Her mouth tasting so sweet. But it tasted more like beer.
"Paul," She said in between kissing me. "We can't do this."
I nodded, moving away. We were so close. And she jsut looked at me. She kissed me soflty on the lips. Moving away biting down into hers. I kissed her again. Her legs sliding around my waist. I carried her into my room presing her agaisnt the door when it closed. Her mouth was so sweet. I was eighteen. Had been for the past few hours.
I wondered if I was smearing her with blood now.
Bennett's POV
I looked over nextdoor. "Mrs. Shingles home?" I asked Elisa.
She looked at the car. "Maybe."
Jonah looked. "Shit, she hates me." He said. "Remember when she threatened to strangle me with her hose?"
I laughed. "Who could forget?" I asked.
Elisa was still staring. I slid my hand around her waist. Kissing her temple. We went inside. It was feeling more like fall now.
"Chaos and Harmony" Chris Albert
Hi
I'm slapping these out.
Rainie's POV
I sat across from Jonah the IHOP. He was talking. I sat next to Elisa too. We all listened. Mike was just looking over at Jonah. Staring at him. He nudged me. "Do you know what he's tlaking about?" He whispered.
"No," I said.
Jonah kept talking. And I was sitting there eating chocolate chip pancakes and thinking about them and being here at the IHOP on route 27.
It was sort of late. And I didn't know if Paul was going. If he was there, I would have said I needed to meet with a publisher or something and slipped out. But he wasn't here. And I had a feeling I wouldn't be seeing him much for now. Especially after the night before.
Sean came out of nowhere. He sat down at the end. "Hey," He said. "Elisa, we signed that band and we heard about that band with the Auto Tuner guy. We have a meeting this week with them."
"Really?" She asked. "Cool."
"Is that that band you sent me with the techno guy and the good band?" Bennett asked Elisa.
"Yeah," Sean said. "Totally sick band, but we need to talk the guy into dropping the Auto Tune."
He shrugged out of his jacket. He looked around. "Where's Paul?" Sean asked.
I felt all of these heat rush through my neck when I heard his name. "Parents, but he's been reading all afternoon." Jonah said.
"Oh yeah," Bennett pointed his fork at me. "He told me you guys talked about your books os I lent him some. He got through one in a couple hours. I think he really like them."
I nodded. Touching my neck. Strangly it was not hot at the touch. "Cool," I said.
Sean leaned forward looking at me. "I reado ne of your recent ones." He said. "I like it, isn't it all metaphorical?"
I paused. I didn't talk much about the meaning. "Uh, yeah." I said. I cleared my throat. "It is."
"It's really cool," Sean said. "I loved it. When's your next book coming out?"
"Few months," Elisa said. "Right?"
"Yeah," I said. We made eye contact and I looekd away. She was worried again. I coughed a little. I didn't know why. This wasn't anxiety related. I took my pills. My throat was jsut scratchy.
They started tlaking. I went quiet. When we were leaving Elisa saw my duffle bag in the back. "Do you want to crash on our couch?" She asked nicely.
I shook my head. "No, I'm going home tonight," I said. "But thanks."
"No problem. Remember, you can always stay over."
"I know," I said. "Goodnight."
Elisa's POV
I was lying down. He came in climbing under the blankets and "spooning" me. He kissed my neck. "Hi," He said. We shifted and went back to fitting together nicely.
"Hi," I said. I turned my face to kiss him. He kissed me back. When I started to turn back he kept kissing me. He pulled me closer to him. I smiled and we finally stopped and just lay still.
"I missed you so much." He whispered.
"I missed you too." I said.
He kissed my neck. "Can I ask you something?" He whispered.
"Sure," I said.
He reached over turning on a light. I rolled onto my back. He looked at me. "You're not putting your life on hold for me, are you?" He asked suddenly. His face was concerned.
I looked at him steadily. "No," I said. "Why?"
He paused. Touching my face. "I talked to Paul," He said. "About why he broke up with Rainie. And he said it was because she was giving up too many things for him."
I paused. Freezing. "You're not brekaing up with me are you?" I asked.
He froze too. "No," He said. He kissed me. "Never. I can't live without you."
I started kissing him. "Good," I said into his lips. We kept kissing. He wove his fingers into mine. "I love you," I whispered when his lips moved to my neck.
"I love you more." Hr said smiling agaisnt my skin.
"No, never." I said.
He laughed softly kissing me. And we made love to each other that night for the first itme since he's been home.
Paul's POV
I was staying in again the next night. Everyone was going out to see a bunch of Conor Oberst wannabe acts where most likely half the crowd would be running up tkaing pictures with Bennett and getting autographs and talking about our band.
We were out of beer so I was going to go get some. Walking out a car was pulled up in front. Rainie froze. "Hey," She said.
My heart started pounding. "Hi," I said.
"Is Elisa home?" She asked.
"No," I said scratching my neck. "Uh, they went to a show in the city."
"Oh," She said. She opened her mouth to talk.
I interrupted her. "I read your books." I said. "The ones I haven't read yet."
Her eyebrows went up. "All of them?" She said. "There were four."
I paused. "I know," I said. I realized I sounded pathetic. And weird and needy. I jsut wanted to be with her. I know it was just a one night stand. But there was a part of me that wanted to be with her so badly. Not in any kind of relaitonship. Just talking to her.
She looked down. "Can we talk Paul?" She said. "About the other night?"
I swallowed. "Is that okay with you if we do?" I asked.
She nodded. And followed me inside.
I'm slapping these out.
Rainie's POV
I sat across from Jonah the IHOP. He was talking. I sat next to Elisa too. We all listened. Mike was just looking over at Jonah. Staring at him. He nudged me. "Do you know what he's tlaking about?" He whispered.
"No," I said.
Jonah kept talking. And I was sitting there eating chocolate chip pancakes and thinking about them and being here at the IHOP on route 27.
It was sort of late. And I didn't know if Paul was going. If he was there, I would have said I needed to meet with a publisher or something and slipped out. But he wasn't here. And I had a feeling I wouldn't be seeing him much for now. Especially after the night before.
Sean came out of nowhere. He sat down at the end. "Hey," He said. "Elisa, we signed that band and we heard about that band with the Auto Tuner guy. We have a meeting this week with them."
"Really?" She asked. "Cool."
"Is that that band you sent me with the techno guy and the good band?" Bennett asked Elisa.
"Yeah," Sean said. "Totally sick band, but we need to talk the guy into dropping the Auto Tune."
He shrugged out of his jacket. He looked around. "Where's Paul?" Sean asked.
I felt all of these heat rush through my neck when I heard his name. "Parents, but he's been reading all afternoon." Jonah said.
"Oh yeah," Bennett pointed his fork at me. "He told me you guys talked about your books os I lent him some. He got through one in a couple hours. I think he really like them."
I nodded. Touching my neck. Strangly it was not hot at the touch. "Cool," I said.
Sean leaned forward looking at me. "I reado ne of your recent ones." He said. "I like it, isn't it all metaphorical?"
I paused. I didn't talk much about the meaning. "Uh, yeah." I said. I cleared my throat. "It is."
"It's really cool," Sean said. "I loved it. When's your next book coming out?"
"Few months," Elisa said. "Right?"
"Yeah," I said. We made eye contact and I looekd away. She was worried again. I coughed a little. I didn't know why. This wasn't anxiety related. I took my pills. My throat was jsut scratchy.
They started tlaking. I went quiet. When we were leaving Elisa saw my duffle bag in the back. "Do you want to crash on our couch?" She asked nicely.
I shook my head. "No, I'm going home tonight," I said. "But thanks."
"No problem. Remember, you can always stay over."
"I know," I said. "Goodnight."
Elisa's POV
I was lying down. He came in climbing under the blankets and "spooning" me. He kissed my neck. "Hi," He said. We shifted and went back to fitting together nicely.
"Hi," I said. I turned my face to kiss him. He kissed me back. When I started to turn back he kept kissing me. He pulled me closer to him. I smiled and we finally stopped and just lay still.
"I missed you so much." He whispered.
"I missed you too." I said.
He kissed my neck. "Can I ask you something?" He whispered.
"Sure," I said.
He reached over turning on a light. I rolled onto my back. He looked at me. "You're not putting your life on hold for me, are you?" He asked suddenly. His face was concerned.
I looked at him steadily. "No," I said. "Why?"
He paused. Touching my face. "I talked to Paul," He said. "About why he broke up with Rainie. And he said it was because she was giving up too many things for him."
I paused. Freezing. "You're not brekaing up with me are you?" I asked.
He froze too. "No," He said. He kissed me. "Never. I can't live without you."
I started kissing him. "Good," I said into his lips. We kept kissing. He wove his fingers into mine. "I love you," I whispered when his lips moved to my neck.
"I love you more." Hr said smiling agaisnt my skin.
"No, never." I said.
He laughed softly kissing me. And we made love to each other that night for the first itme since he's been home.
Paul's POV
I was staying in again the next night. Everyone was going out to see a bunch of Conor Oberst wannabe acts where most likely half the crowd would be running up tkaing pictures with Bennett and getting autographs and talking about our band.
We were out of beer so I was going to go get some. Walking out a car was pulled up in front. Rainie froze. "Hey," She said.
My heart started pounding. "Hi," I said.
"Is Elisa home?" She asked.
"No," I said scratching my neck. "Uh, they went to a show in the city."
"Oh," She said. She opened her mouth to talk.
I interrupted her. "I read your books." I said. "The ones I haven't read yet."
Her eyebrows went up. "All of them?" She said. "There were four."
I paused. "I know," I said. I realized I sounded pathetic. And weird and needy. I jsut wanted to be with her. I know it was just a one night stand. But there was a part of me that wanted to be with her so badly. Not in any kind of relaitonship. Just talking to her.
She looked down. "Can we talk Paul?" She said. "About the other night?"
I swallowed. "Is that okay with you if we do?" I asked.
She nodded. And followed me inside.
"I Miss You" Jamestown Story
Hi
This is going well, possibly going on Fanfiction
Rainie's POV
I woke up to Jessicah shaking me. When I looekd at her, realizing I was here, she smiled. "Hey," She said. "You look awful."
"Stop it." I said.
"Garrett wanted me to wake up Aunti Rainie." She said. "You know," She stepped back looking at me. "I enjoy this a little. Knowing that you're finally living out your twenties with a certain grace I had in high school. Where did you meet this guy?"
I sat up rubbing my eyes. My hair was pulled back and my lack of make-up and now greasy hair wasn't doing me any justice. I needed a shower. "I'm sorry, I had no place to go."
"Who was it, Rainie?" She said louder. "Come on I'm dying here."
I got up and ran my fingers through my ponytail. "Paul," I said.
She froze. "Spinella?" She asked. "Paul Spinella?"
I nodded. Feeling dirty all over me. I needed to shower so badly. "I'll go," I said. "I'm not feeling well."
She was shocked. "Does this mean...?" She started smiling.
I shook my head. "No," I said. "It was just a one night stand."
And I kept walking. Going back home where the kids were all at school and my parents were working. I showered. Washing his smell off of me and being 17.
Bennett POV
I was eating cereal. We usually jsut eat pizza on the road and drink beer and Red Bull. It was good having soggy pieces of flour and sugar. Jonah came in. Looking behind him like he's seen ghosts. "Dude..." He pointed. "Paul's showering."
"Yeah?" I said.
"He showered yesterday too." He said. "Ah man," He smiled getting amusement out of this. "What if he-"
Elisa walked in. "Shut up Jonah." She said. "You have tohse every night."
I laughed. Jonah looked at me like I should stick up for him. "Hey," I said pointing my spoon towards the kitchen where Elisa was. "She's my girlfriend."
He sighed and sat down on the couch with me. In a few minutes Paul walked out. Just wearinf a pair of jeans and walking into his room. "Hey!" Jonah said leaning over the side of the couch looking at him. "Fun night last night?"
Paul turned around. He pressed a towel to his hair. "What-" He looked off. "Oh, uh, yeah. I guess." He went back into his room.
Elisa came out of the kitchen. "See you," She said. "I have to go help Sean today."
"Aw, come on." I said. "You said you didn't have to work today."
She pulled a sweatshirt on. "I'll be back before three I promise." She said. She came over and kissed me.
"Hey," Jonah said to her. He pointed to his cheek. She kissed his cheek.
"Stop making my girlfriend kiss your cheek." I said jabbing my spoon at him.
"You aren't married yet, techinally she's still fair game."
Elisa laughed. "Bye," She said waving.
"See you," I said.
"Elisa," Jonah said dropping his head back so he was lookign at her upside down. "I love you."
She shook her head smiling. "I love you too."
And she left. I smiled looking down at my cereal. Eating some more. There was something about seeing her for more than one night. Usually we play a show ocme back here and I spend the night. By now I'd be gone. But here I was for a month.
A month of mornings like this. Where we were both here. And it was finally home to both of us. I got up with my now bowl of milk and put it in the sink. Jonah changed the channel.
I walked down the hall. Hearing Paul playing Oasis. Something I hadn't heard in a while. I stuck my head into his room he was jsut walking away from his record player. "Vinyl?" I asked. "Wow, I haven't seen you play one in a while."
He nodded. "I know," He said. "you were right though, everything sounds better on vinyl."
I nodded. "I know."
He smiled a little. Sometihng was wrong.
"Did you talk to Rainie last night?" I asked.
He nodded. "Yeah, a little." He said. "Do you have some of her writing?" He turned lookign at me.
"Didn't you have some of her books?" I asked.
"Yeah, but her recent stuff." He said.
I nodded. "Yeah," I said. "Do you want them?"
"Yeah," He said.
"Did she tell you about it some of her new works?" I asked.
"A little," He said. "I'm just curious, you know. I mean we haven't talked in so long. And I think we're not going to talk much at all. I mean, after everything."
I paused. He started to turn. "Why did you break up with her?" He turned ore suddenly. "If you want to talk about it I mean."
He paused. Looking at the floor. "I didn't want to hold her back." He said, his voice was full of pain.
"You wouldn't have," I said.
"But I was." He said. "She was ready to give up her whole life for me."
"So," I said. "You've given a lot for her."
He shook his head. "She was giving up her life. Giving up everything for me. I'm not good enoguh to get all of that." He kept going. His voice gettign louder. Almost angry. But it didn't get too loud. It was still normal. "She would have ended up..." His voice trailed off.
"Like Elisa?" I finished.
"No-"
"I am worried about Elisa." I said crossing my arms. "But I can't lose her. I can't live without her, and I don't know what I would do if I came home and she wasn't here."
He looked at me. "You'd end up like me." He said. And he turned away and started doing whatever he was again.
I turned and went back to mine and Elisa's room. I sat down and suddenly I thought of something. It was stupid and crazy. But there was no evidence.
This is going well, possibly going on Fanfiction
Rainie's POV
I woke up to Jessicah shaking me. When I looekd at her, realizing I was here, she smiled. "Hey," She said. "You look awful."
"Stop it." I said.
"Garrett wanted me to wake up Aunti Rainie." She said. "You know," She stepped back looking at me. "I enjoy this a little. Knowing that you're finally living out your twenties with a certain grace I had in high school. Where did you meet this guy?"
I sat up rubbing my eyes. My hair was pulled back and my lack of make-up and now greasy hair wasn't doing me any justice. I needed a shower. "I'm sorry, I had no place to go."
"Who was it, Rainie?" She said louder. "Come on I'm dying here."
I got up and ran my fingers through my ponytail. "Paul," I said.
She froze. "Spinella?" She asked. "Paul Spinella?"
I nodded. Feeling dirty all over me. I needed to shower so badly. "I'll go," I said. "I'm not feeling well."
She was shocked. "Does this mean...?" She started smiling.
I shook my head. "No," I said. "It was just a one night stand."
And I kept walking. Going back home where the kids were all at school and my parents were working. I showered. Washing his smell off of me and being 17.
Bennett POV
I was eating cereal. We usually jsut eat pizza on the road and drink beer and Red Bull. It was good having soggy pieces of flour and sugar. Jonah came in. Looking behind him like he's seen ghosts. "Dude..." He pointed. "Paul's showering."
"Yeah?" I said.
"He showered yesterday too." He said. "Ah man," He smiled getting amusement out of this. "What if he-"
Elisa walked in. "Shut up Jonah." She said. "You have tohse every night."
I laughed. Jonah looked at me like I should stick up for him. "Hey," I said pointing my spoon towards the kitchen where Elisa was. "She's my girlfriend."
He sighed and sat down on the couch with me. In a few minutes Paul walked out. Just wearinf a pair of jeans and walking into his room. "Hey!" Jonah said leaning over the side of the couch looking at him. "Fun night last night?"
Paul turned around. He pressed a towel to his hair. "What-" He looked off. "Oh, uh, yeah. I guess." He went back into his room.
Elisa came out of the kitchen. "See you," She said. "I have to go help Sean today."
"Aw, come on." I said. "You said you didn't have to work today."
She pulled a sweatshirt on. "I'll be back before three I promise." She said. She came over and kissed me.
"Hey," Jonah said to her. He pointed to his cheek. She kissed his cheek.
"Stop making my girlfriend kiss your cheek." I said jabbing my spoon at him.
"You aren't married yet, techinally she's still fair game."
Elisa laughed. "Bye," She said waving.
"See you," I said.
"Elisa," Jonah said dropping his head back so he was lookign at her upside down. "I love you."
She shook her head smiling. "I love you too."
And she left. I smiled looking down at my cereal. Eating some more. There was something about seeing her for more than one night. Usually we play a show ocme back here and I spend the night. By now I'd be gone. But here I was for a month.
A month of mornings like this. Where we were both here. And it was finally home to both of us. I got up with my now bowl of milk and put it in the sink. Jonah changed the channel.
I walked down the hall. Hearing Paul playing Oasis. Something I hadn't heard in a while. I stuck my head into his room he was jsut walking away from his record player. "Vinyl?" I asked. "Wow, I haven't seen you play one in a while."
He nodded. "I know," He said. "you were right though, everything sounds better on vinyl."
I nodded. "I know."
He smiled a little. Sometihng was wrong.
"Did you talk to Rainie last night?" I asked.
He nodded. "Yeah, a little." He said. "Do you have some of her writing?" He turned lookign at me.
"Didn't you have some of her books?" I asked.
"Yeah, but her recent stuff." He said.
I nodded. "Yeah," I said. "Do you want them?"
"Yeah," He said.
"Did she tell you about it some of her new works?" I asked.
"A little," He said. "I'm just curious, you know. I mean we haven't talked in so long. And I think we're not going to talk much at all. I mean, after everything."
I paused. He started to turn. "Why did you break up with her?" He turned ore suddenly. "If you want to talk about it I mean."
He paused. Looking at the floor. "I didn't want to hold her back." He said, his voice was full of pain.
"You wouldn't have," I said.
"But I was." He said. "She was ready to give up her whole life for me."
"So," I said. "You've given a lot for her."
He shook his head. "She was giving up her life. Giving up everything for me. I'm not good enoguh to get all of that." He kept going. His voice gettign louder. Almost angry. But it didn't get too loud. It was still normal. "She would have ended up..." His voice trailed off.
"Like Elisa?" I finished.
"No-"
"I am worried about Elisa." I said crossing my arms. "But I can't lose her. I can't live without her, and I don't know what I would do if I came home and she wasn't here."
He looked at me. "You'd end up like me." He said. And he turned away and started doing whatever he was again.
I turned and went back to mine and Elisa's room. I sat down and suddenly I thought of something. It was stupid and crazy. But there was no evidence.
"I Wanna Love You" The Maine
Hi
The title was only to be ironic.
Elisa's POV
I closed my eyes pressing my lips against his. He smiled. We went into our room. He shut the door and took my into his arms. He kissed me. Holding me tight. I smiled. And we kissed more. He kissed my neck, nuzzlign it gently. It tickeled and I laughed softly. "I love you." He whispered into my ear.
"I love you too." I said back. I kissed him again.
We lay down and he held me. I closed my eyes breathing. Taking in the smell of him. He kissed my forehead and we were quiet. Jonah was asleep on the couch. Sean had helped him in. But there was a door opening and a shutting. Bennett sat up.
"Was that Sean?" I asked.
He paused. Listening. "Oh, probably." He lay back down. And I moved close to him. He closed his eyes and kissed me. We started kissing. I missed having him here.
Paul's POV
I was falling asleep. Exhausted. And finally breathing calmly. She sat up, holding the sheets over her. She reached out. I closed my eyes and she moved beside me. In a minute or two the space beside me lifted. She was standing now. I opened my eyes and looked at her. She was a silhouette in the darkened room. She pulled her shirt on over her head and then took her sweatshirt.
"Rain," I said. Her spine stiffened. My words were only a hushed whisper.
She looked at me. And paused stepping out of her shoes again and climbing back onto the bed. She heard Bennett and Elisa walking to their room. I kissed her. And she kissed me back. Then she pulled back. I did too. I held her hand to have her near me a little while longer.
"What happened?" Was all that came out. I didn't regret anything. I just didn't know a better way to put it.
She looked at me in the dark. The lights from outside adding a white glow to the room. "It was just one night." She said. She kissed me again. Her lips sending sweetness into my mouth. "I have to go. Goodnight."
She got up. I sat up. "Rain," I whispered again. And she walked halfway to the door. Her keys in her hand. She was out the door and I was still in bed. Naked and exposed. I fell back. Listening. Her car started and she was gone.
It didn't seem real. What happened. But I guess that's how most one night stands must feel. I wouldn't know though. This was my first.
The title was only to be ironic.
Elisa's POV
I closed my eyes pressing my lips against his. He smiled. We went into our room. He shut the door and took my into his arms. He kissed me. Holding me tight. I smiled. And we kissed more. He kissed my neck, nuzzlign it gently. It tickeled and I laughed softly. "I love you." He whispered into my ear.
"I love you too." I said back. I kissed him again.
We lay down and he held me. I closed my eyes breathing. Taking in the smell of him. He kissed my forehead and we were quiet. Jonah was asleep on the couch. Sean had helped him in. But there was a door opening and a shutting. Bennett sat up.
"Was that Sean?" I asked.
He paused. Listening. "Oh, probably." He lay back down. And I moved close to him. He closed his eyes and kissed me. We started kissing. I missed having him here.
Paul's POV
I was falling asleep. Exhausted. And finally breathing calmly. She sat up, holding the sheets over her. She reached out. I closed my eyes and she moved beside me. In a minute or two the space beside me lifted. She was standing now. I opened my eyes and looked at her. She was a silhouette in the darkened room. She pulled her shirt on over her head and then took her sweatshirt.
"Rain," I said. Her spine stiffened. My words were only a hushed whisper.
She looked at me. And paused stepping out of her shoes again and climbing back onto the bed. She heard Bennett and Elisa walking to their room. I kissed her. And she kissed me back. Then she pulled back. I did too. I held her hand to have her near me a little while longer.
"What happened?" Was all that came out. I didn't regret anything. I just didn't know a better way to put it.
She looked at me in the dark. The lights from outside adding a white glow to the room. "It was just one night." She said. She kissed me again. Her lips sending sweetness into my mouth. "I have to go. Goodnight."
She got up. I sat up. "Rain," I whispered again. And she walked halfway to the door. Her keys in her hand. She was out the door and I was still in bed. Naked and exposed. I fell back. Listening. Her car started and she was gone.
It didn't seem real. What happened. But I guess that's how most one night stands must feel. I wouldn't know though. This was my first.
"Whispering Actually" Ace Enders
Hi
Rainie's POV
We were sitting in his room. Of all places. We were just talking. Smiling and remembering. Talking about his life as a rockstar and my life as a writer. He asked me to bring over a book of my short stories that came out recently. I promised him I would.
And we talked about his new record. We debated about it in a more friendly way then two years ago and before. But it was nice. It's weird. There's so much that can change but in the end everything is basically the same.
He played me a newer song him and Bennett wrote a month ago. And he seemed happy. He was smiling and talking. It was good. I felt liek we needed it. And suddenly it was late. I looked and saw it was later than I thought.
There was a little edge in the air. I felt bad. He had to see me. I was close to having another attack. But I fought it off. Or somehow I did. I waited for it. He was quiet looking at me. "What?" I asked.
"Are you okay?" He asked suddenly. He paused. "I mean, when I scared you, what was that?"
I paused. I trusted Paul. He knew so much about me. He knew when I was lying and when I was hurt. He knew me liek I knew myself. But better, especially after he broke up with me. I don't know who I am anymore.
I crossed my arms. And looked down. "I am jsut having a few little emotional things. Like stress and stuff. And I just get a little jumpy sometimes and scared. And I jsut lose my breateh sometimes. I take pills and stuff but they don't work. And I don't know, it's weird." I said.
He was quiet. Looking at me. Studying me. Everything changed. "Are you getting better?"
I paused. I nodded. "A little." I said. "They started out really bad, and they've gotten better."
He looked down at the ground. He looked at me. "Are you happy?" He asked.
I wasn't ready for this. Here he was. Paul Spinella. Of all people. How could he ask me this. I swallowed. And my throat started squeezing in. My eyes started to water with the pain that returned to my chest. I looked down wiping my eyes. They didn't stop pouring out. I wasn't wearing much make up as it was and soon it was soaked into my sleeves of my sweatshirt. The black. All of it was gone. And suddenly. His arms moved around me.
I remained stiff taking in his smell. He smelled the same. I was suddenly seventeen again. Feeling these arms around me. I closed my eyes falling into them and held him too. And felt like crying more. It hurt so bad going back ot being 17.
He moved away looking at me. He wiped away under my eyes. I saw traces of black on his thumbs. And I laughed a little. Wiping under my eyes and pushing his away. "I'm a mess, I know." I said. "This isn't part of anything. It's just been hard."
He nodded. "I know," He said. "Me too."
I looked at him. His eyes were such a nice green still. He was the same eighteen year old boy I fell in love with. I swallowed. Finding my breathe taken away in a different way. He looked so honest. He looked so real. And he held my face suddenly. All the heaviness and lead in my chest was gone. And he leaned in. His lips moving against mine.
I closed my eyes. Kissing him back. There was an uneasiness inside of me. But we were young again. We were the same two people who fell in love. It was the same perfect kiss that sealed our fate for the four years we lived attached at the hip. The same kiss that made me break every rule I made for myself. And changed everything.
That's what pushed me back from him. I moved back. And he moved with me but stopped. I left him here leaning in awkwardly. I swallowed. It was still him. And I was still me.
I stood up walking over to the door. I looked back at him. He was jsut sittign there watching me.
Paul POV
She was so scared. Of everything. I could tell. I sat there. Heavy with regret. She was at the door. Her hand holding the knob and ready to go. But she turned. I watched her. Taking her in one more time. This was it. I don't know if we could ever be the same.
I loved her. She was leaving. This was it.
She paused. And suddenly I watched the door close. She breathed. Locking it. I watched her carefully. She jsut stood there. Thinkign if this was a good idea or not. I waited holding my breathe.
There was a pause. Time froze. And suddenly I felt myself just change. I was eighteen again. She came over to me slowly. And I looked at her softly. She looked back at me. I stood up, moving close to her. I touched her face and kissed her again. Her mouth was so sweet. Nothing seems to have changed.
Rainie's POV
We were sitting in his room. Of all places. We were just talking. Smiling and remembering. Talking about his life as a rockstar and my life as a writer. He asked me to bring over a book of my short stories that came out recently. I promised him I would.
And we talked about his new record. We debated about it in a more friendly way then two years ago and before. But it was nice. It's weird. There's so much that can change but in the end everything is basically the same.
He played me a newer song him and Bennett wrote a month ago. And he seemed happy. He was smiling and talking. It was good. I felt liek we needed it. And suddenly it was late. I looked and saw it was later than I thought.
There was a little edge in the air. I felt bad. He had to see me. I was close to having another attack. But I fought it off. Or somehow I did. I waited for it. He was quiet looking at me. "What?" I asked.
"Are you okay?" He asked suddenly. He paused. "I mean, when I scared you, what was that?"
I paused. I trusted Paul. He knew so much about me. He knew when I was lying and when I was hurt. He knew me liek I knew myself. But better, especially after he broke up with me. I don't know who I am anymore.
I crossed my arms. And looked down. "I am jsut having a few little emotional things. Like stress and stuff. And I just get a little jumpy sometimes and scared. And I jsut lose my breateh sometimes. I take pills and stuff but they don't work. And I don't know, it's weird." I said.
He was quiet. Looking at me. Studying me. Everything changed. "Are you getting better?"
I paused. I nodded. "A little." I said. "They started out really bad, and they've gotten better."
He looked down at the ground. He looked at me. "Are you happy?" He asked.
I wasn't ready for this. Here he was. Paul Spinella. Of all people. How could he ask me this. I swallowed. And my throat started squeezing in. My eyes started to water with the pain that returned to my chest. I looked down wiping my eyes. They didn't stop pouring out. I wasn't wearing much make up as it was and soon it was soaked into my sleeves of my sweatshirt. The black. All of it was gone. And suddenly. His arms moved around me.
I remained stiff taking in his smell. He smelled the same. I was suddenly seventeen again. Feeling these arms around me. I closed my eyes falling into them and held him too. And felt like crying more. It hurt so bad going back ot being 17.
He moved away looking at me. He wiped away under my eyes. I saw traces of black on his thumbs. And I laughed a little. Wiping under my eyes and pushing his away. "I'm a mess, I know." I said. "This isn't part of anything. It's just been hard."
He nodded. "I know," He said. "Me too."
I looked at him. His eyes were such a nice green still. He was the same eighteen year old boy I fell in love with. I swallowed. Finding my breathe taken away in a different way. He looked so honest. He looked so real. And he held my face suddenly. All the heaviness and lead in my chest was gone. And he leaned in. His lips moving against mine.
I closed my eyes. Kissing him back. There was an uneasiness inside of me. But we were young again. We were the same two people who fell in love. It was the same perfect kiss that sealed our fate for the four years we lived attached at the hip. The same kiss that made me break every rule I made for myself. And changed everything.
That's what pushed me back from him. I moved back. And he moved with me but stopped. I left him here leaning in awkwardly. I swallowed. It was still him. And I was still me.
I stood up walking over to the door. I looked back at him. He was jsut sittign there watching me.
Paul POV
She was so scared. Of everything. I could tell. I sat there. Heavy with regret. She was at the door. Her hand holding the knob and ready to go. But she turned. I watched her. Taking her in one more time. This was it. I don't know if we could ever be the same.
I loved her. She was leaving. This was it.
She paused. And suddenly I watched the door close. She breathed. Locking it. I watched her carefully. She jsut stood there. Thinkign if this was a good idea or not. I waited holding my breathe.
There was a pause. Time froze. And suddenly I felt myself just change. I was eighteen again. She came over to me slowly. And I looked at her softly. She looked back at me. I stood up, moving close to her. I touched her face and kissed her again. Her mouth was so sweet. Nothing seems to have changed.
"Reaction" Ace Enders
Hi
Rainie's POV
I walked in. I didn't know I was there. I wanted to be with him. I wanted to see him. I knew it was a bad idea. Especially after everything. But I figured I couldn't hide from him forever. It's been two years. My best friend is going ot end up marrying his sometime soon. There was no way I could hide from him when Bennett and Elisa finally get officially married.
Jess-ee-cah is busy raising Garrett. Her two year old son. With a steady nerdy boy. He's a smart guy. A nice smart guy. And he's going ot ask her to marry him sometime soon. It feels weird. All of my good friends planning to get married. Not me. I mean nobody's engaged. But Elisa and Bennett broke up once. They are basically married now. And Jess-ee-cah is too. They have a kid.
Me. I'm a screwed up single anxiety victim. I paused checking the clock when I pulled up to their busy house. I opened my little plastic container for my pill. I took it swallowing some water. I stop. Picking at my steering wheel. No matter how many times I say I don't need these little anxiety pills, I still take them. I'm not sick. I don't need them.
I walked up. Going inside. There are people everywhere. I walk around looking for someone to talk to. I see Elisa. But she's talking in a group with Paul which means no. I stop and look at him. He's the same. He's skinnier. He always is. And he is smiling only a little. Not a lot. He's not laughing along with Bennett and everyone else. He's just sitting there. Listening to Elisa telling a story.
His eyes flickered over to me. Swallowing me whole. I breathed. Exhaling silently. I smile a little at him. And he looks at me. Taking me in up and down. My breathing evens. And everything is smooth again.
Paul POV
I was standing there talking to Jonah and Sean. I looked over at her. She was sitting there talking to Elisa and Mike. She was laughing. Something about her.
She was beautiful. She was breathe taking. I watched her. blocking my thoguhts from me. And looking away. She was Rain. That was it. I swallowed and paid attention to Jonah talking. Trying to get my chance to talk to her. She was sitting on a counter. It was later. And people had started leaving.
It was even later before I got my chance. I walked into the kitchen and she was still sitting there. Elisa was wlaking out. Rainie sipped a beer in her hand. "Hi," She said.
I had gotten a beer out of the fridge and opened it with the counter. I looked up at her. "Hi," I said. My voice was hoarse. And I sipped my beer hoping it would wash out the scratchiness of my voice.
"How's it being a big rock star?" She asked. Her voice was so smooth and perfect.
I shrugged. "I wouldn't know." I said. I kept telling myself it was Rainie. I tried to add what Bennett told me. The fact that she had anxiety attacks. She seemed so calm. So the same. "How's the writing?"
She smiled a little less. "I'm pretty big among emo kids." She said. "You're fans probably. But it's going well." Her voice cracked I notice.
It was hard imagining her problems being more than that. We both sipped our beer. It was awkward and silent. I couldn't keep from looking at her. Making it harder to stop remembering. I felt only nostalgia and fought it more than the thought that she wasn't okay.
"Heard the new record." She said. "I liked it. I have to say: very Sunday Drive-esque."
I smiled a little. "We were going for that." I said.
She smiled a little. Bennett came in. "Hey," He said. He got a beer out of the fridge. I felt interrupted. This was my first time talking to her. Rainie Joseph. In two years. He had to barge in. But he couldn't help it. "What's up?" He asked.
"We're jsut talking about your Sunday Drive-esque record." She said. "I'm surprised though," She was now talking just to Bennett. "It sounds too much liek their first record for it to be copyrighted a little bit to you."
Bennett laughed. "Nah," He said. "I think we tried our best to capture their overall sound with our full band. An acoustic EP is in the works though. Some Sunday Drive covers too."
She swallowed some more beer. She slide off the counter. "It's late," She sighed looking at the clock. "If I stay any longer I'll be too drunk to drive."
"You can stay," Bennett said. "We're going to go to IHOP. You can crash here."
She paused. "Thank you," She said. "But I have school in the morning."
"School?" I asked.
She nodded. "I'm still in college. It sucks... but you know, it's helping my writing. And I need a diploma and shit."
"See you," Bennett said.
"Bye," She said. And she walked out. Tugging at her hair a little.
Bennett looked at me. "Do you want to come?" He said. "We're leaving now."
I was looking in her direction. "No," I said. "I'm a little tired." I looked back at him.
"Kay," He pushed off of the counter. In a few minutes they were all gone. I was by myself. I wish I could go back and talk to her more. I missed her. If I was allowed to. If it was possible. I left my door open a crack. I went over starting to put on Oasis of all records for me to. I haven't listened to a vinyl for a year now. I missed the sound of them.
The door opened and there were footsteps. I paused, looking towards my door. I poked my head out and looked down the hall. "Hello?"
There were more footsteps so I followed them. I froze. "Rainie?" She turned suddenly. She jumped. Grabbing her heart. She paused unable to breathe. Looking down trying to force air out and in. I stood nervous wondering if she needed help. She started gasping. And sputtering back to normal. I was suddenly close to her. Touching her shoulder. "Are you okay?" I asked softly.
She nodded. "Yeah," She said. Her breathe smoothing out. "You just scared me." She forced a smile.
I paused pulling my hand away from her. Electric shock was stinging me all over. I breathed. "What are you doing?" I asked her suddenly.
She shook her keys. "Forgot them, again." She said.
"Oh," I said.
"What about you," She said. "I thoguht you went with them."
I shook my head. "I was tired."
"Tired, huh?" She raised her eyebrows.
"Yeah," I said.
"Need some company?" She asked. "Maybe we could catch up."
I smiled a little. "Sure."
Rainie's POV
I walked in. I didn't know I was there. I wanted to be with him. I wanted to see him. I knew it was a bad idea. Especially after everything. But I figured I couldn't hide from him forever. It's been two years. My best friend is going ot end up marrying his sometime soon. There was no way I could hide from him when Bennett and Elisa finally get officially married.
Jess-ee-cah is busy raising Garrett. Her two year old son. With a steady nerdy boy. He's a smart guy. A nice smart guy. And he's going ot ask her to marry him sometime soon. It feels weird. All of my good friends planning to get married. Not me. I mean nobody's engaged. But Elisa and Bennett broke up once. They are basically married now. And Jess-ee-cah is too. They have a kid.
Me. I'm a screwed up single anxiety victim. I paused checking the clock when I pulled up to their busy house. I opened my little plastic container for my pill. I took it swallowing some water. I stop. Picking at my steering wheel. No matter how many times I say I don't need these little anxiety pills, I still take them. I'm not sick. I don't need them.
I walked up. Going inside. There are people everywhere. I walk around looking for someone to talk to. I see Elisa. But she's talking in a group with Paul which means no. I stop and look at him. He's the same. He's skinnier. He always is. And he is smiling only a little. Not a lot. He's not laughing along with Bennett and everyone else. He's just sitting there. Listening to Elisa telling a story.
His eyes flickered over to me. Swallowing me whole. I breathed. Exhaling silently. I smile a little at him. And he looks at me. Taking me in up and down. My breathing evens. And everything is smooth again.
Paul POV
I was standing there talking to Jonah and Sean. I looked over at her. She was sitting there talking to Elisa and Mike. She was laughing. Something about her.
She was beautiful. She was breathe taking. I watched her. blocking my thoguhts from me. And looking away. She was Rain. That was it. I swallowed and paid attention to Jonah talking. Trying to get my chance to talk to her. She was sitting on a counter. It was later. And people had started leaving.
It was even later before I got my chance. I walked into the kitchen and she was still sitting there. Elisa was wlaking out. Rainie sipped a beer in her hand. "Hi," She said.
I had gotten a beer out of the fridge and opened it with the counter. I looked up at her. "Hi," I said. My voice was hoarse. And I sipped my beer hoping it would wash out the scratchiness of my voice.
"How's it being a big rock star?" She asked. Her voice was so smooth and perfect.
I shrugged. "I wouldn't know." I said. I kept telling myself it was Rainie. I tried to add what Bennett told me. The fact that she had anxiety attacks. She seemed so calm. So the same. "How's the writing?"
She smiled a little less. "I'm pretty big among emo kids." She said. "You're fans probably. But it's going well." Her voice cracked I notice.
It was hard imagining her problems being more than that. We both sipped our beer. It was awkward and silent. I couldn't keep from looking at her. Making it harder to stop remembering. I felt only nostalgia and fought it more than the thought that she wasn't okay.
"Heard the new record." She said. "I liked it. I have to say: very Sunday Drive-esque."
I smiled a little. "We were going for that." I said.
She smiled a little. Bennett came in. "Hey," He said. He got a beer out of the fridge. I felt interrupted. This was my first time talking to her. Rainie Joseph. In two years. He had to barge in. But he couldn't help it. "What's up?" He asked.
"We're jsut talking about your Sunday Drive-esque record." She said. "I'm surprised though," She was now talking just to Bennett. "It sounds too much liek their first record for it to be copyrighted a little bit to you."
Bennett laughed. "Nah," He said. "I think we tried our best to capture their overall sound with our full band. An acoustic EP is in the works though. Some Sunday Drive covers too."
She swallowed some more beer. She slide off the counter. "It's late," She sighed looking at the clock. "If I stay any longer I'll be too drunk to drive."
"You can stay," Bennett said. "We're going to go to IHOP. You can crash here."
She paused. "Thank you," She said. "But I have school in the morning."
"School?" I asked.
She nodded. "I'm still in college. It sucks... but you know, it's helping my writing. And I need a diploma and shit."
"See you," Bennett said.
"Bye," She said. And she walked out. Tugging at her hair a little.
Bennett looked at me. "Do you want to come?" He said. "We're leaving now."
I was looking in her direction. "No," I said. "I'm a little tired." I looked back at him.
"Kay," He pushed off of the counter. In a few minutes they were all gone. I was by myself. I wish I could go back and talk to her more. I missed her. If I was allowed to. If it was possible. I left my door open a crack. I went over starting to put on Oasis of all records for me to. I haven't listened to a vinyl for a year now. I missed the sound of them.
The door opened and there were footsteps. I paused, looking towards my door. I poked my head out and looked down the hall. "Hello?"
There were more footsteps so I followed them. I froze. "Rainie?" She turned suddenly. She jumped. Grabbing her heart. She paused unable to breathe. Looking down trying to force air out and in. I stood nervous wondering if she needed help. She started gasping. And sputtering back to normal. I was suddenly close to her. Touching her shoulder. "Are you okay?" I asked softly.
She nodded. "Yeah," She said. Her breathe smoothing out. "You just scared me." She forced a smile.
I paused pulling my hand away from her. Electric shock was stinging me all over. I breathed. "What are you doing?" I asked her suddenly.
She shook her keys. "Forgot them, again." She said.
"Oh," I said.
"What about you," She said. "I thoguht you went with them."
I shook my head. "I was tired."
"Tired, huh?" She raised her eyebrows.
"Yeah," I said.
"Need some company?" She asked. "Maybe we could catch up."
I smiled a little. "Sure."
"Waiting" The Rocket Summer
Hi
So the last try of this went better. So I'll continue.
Bennett's POV
His door slammed and I flinched. What's worse isn't when you know a guy long as I've known Paul. Sicne we were eighteen. Now we're twenty four. He never used to be bitter. But living on a bus with him is worse. The mention of anything jsut pushes him over the edge.
I had to tell him though. I really did. Elisa looked at me. "Do you think they said anything ot each other?" She whispered.
"No." I said. It was true. He didn't come out for a little while. When he did he was the same Paul he was on tour. Where he shut the world out sometimes. Close to bi-polar it seemed. But he was jsut so bitter about everything. I swallowed and we waited. When metal blared through his speakers we knew he was just cooling off.
I don't know many people who find mercy in metal besides him.
I looked at Elisa. She was starign at the wall in the direction of Paul's room thinking. I went close to her. Pulling her into my arms. I kissed her. She moved close to me. With screaming and heavy guitars giving us rhythem in our hearts we kissed. A hello for a whole month we had to live normal lives.
Being with her. The love of my life was everything to me. It was enough to give me all I ever wanted. Losing that would make me bitter too. Which is why I'm the only one who seems to understand why Paul has a need to blast metal day in and out.
* * *
I walked in a few hours later. Paul was sitting watching TV drinking beer. I looked at him. People were comign over soon. "Hey," I said. I sat down.
He looked at me. "You weren't even going to give me a heads up?" He asked accusingly. He would only say this to me.
I looked at him. "You would have murdered me." I said.
He clenched his teeth and drank more beer. I looekd at the football game on the television. I wasn't interested in sports. I paused thinking of what to say. "She's not in good shape. If you talked to her or anything when it wasn't planned she..." My voice trailed off. I looked at him. I knew he was listening. I knew better than anyone. "She's been having these anxiety attacks, Elisa said. She's different now. She's..."
He looked at me waiting for the adjective.
I couldn't find one. And we sat quietly. The referee made a bad call. But Paul didn't say anything. "Is she coming tonight?" He asked.
"No," I said.
"Do you think Elisa's going to invite her?" He asked. He didn't want to make it so he told me to tell Elisa to invite her. He didn't want to be linked to it directly.
"Maybe," I got up. "I'll go ask her."
He nodded. Looking back at the TV.
So the last try of this went better. So I'll continue.
Bennett's POV
His door slammed and I flinched. What's worse isn't when you know a guy long as I've known Paul. Sicne we were eighteen. Now we're twenty four. He never used to be bitter. But living on a bus with him is worse. The mention of anything jsut pushes him over the edge.
I had to tell him though. I really did. Elisa looked at me. "Do you think they said anything ot each other?" She whispered.
"No." I said. It was true. He didn't come out for a little while. When he did he was the same Paul he was on tour. Where he shut the world out sometimes. Close to bi-polar it seemed. But he was jsut so bitter about everything. I swallowed and we waited. When metal blared through his speakers we knew he was just cooling off.
I don't know many people who find mercy in metal besides him.
I looked at Elisa. She was starign at the wall in the direction of Paul's room thinking. I went close to her. Pulling her into my arms. I kissed her. She moved close to me. With screaming and heavy guitars giving us rhythem in our hearts we kissed. A hello for a whole month we had to live normal lives.
Being with her. The love of my life was everything to me. It was enough to give me all I ever wanted. Losing that would make me bitter too. Which is why I'm the only one who seems to understand why Paul has a need to blast metal day in and out.
* * *
I walked in a few hours later. Paul was sitting watching TV drinking beer. I looked at him. People were comign over soon. "Hey," I said. I sat down.
He looked at me. "You weren't even going to give me a heads up?" He asked accusingly. He would only say this to me.
I looked at him. "You would have murdered me." I said.
He clenched his teeth and drank more beer. I looekd at the football game on the television. I wasn't interested in sports. I paused thinking of what to say. "She's not in good shape. If you talked to her or anything when it wasn't planned she..." My voice trailed off. I looked at him. I knew he was listening. I knew better than anyone. "She's been having these anxiety attacks, Elisa said. She's different now. She's..."
He looked at me waiting for the adjective.
I couldn't find one. And we sat quietly. The referee made a bad call. But Paul didn't say anything. "Is she coming tonight?" He asked.
"No," I said.
"Do you think Elisa's going to invite her?" He asked. He didn't want to make it so he told me to tell Elisa to invite her. He didn't want to be linked to it directly.
"Maybe," I got up. "I'll go ask her."
He nodded. Looking back at the TV.
"Orange Ballon" TJ Pettrecca
Hi
So I'll post a little thing here. I may/may not finish it. But to see if you like it, and see if you want to know more. I don't know how well it will go over on FanFiction. But it's something I write when I'm bored. And delete. Because It's not worth getting into with my full heart. And I'm scared I will. But here goes...
Elisa's POV
I was eating cereal in the kitchen. That's all we usually eat now. There's not much money we have, and even on days like this we eat cereal. I sat at the little table we have. It's an awkward one that is a bench bent in the corner with a few more chairs on the un-benched areas but it's good. We usually have people coming in and out, but for now it's just me and Rainie.
It's been a few months. And I asked Bennett if it was okay if she stayed. I listened to her packing. Throwing things into her bags ready to go. Things have been awkward since her and Paul finally broke up.
These past few months have been good though. Out of everyone I like having her here most. She makes it easier. Cass and Miles are still together. Have been on and off and live together now too. And it's nice when I have someone here with me. Especially when everyone's gone.
We got this house a few months after Paul broke up with Rainie and him and Bennett's apartment complex was bought out. The rent went up and I was just getting out of school. I went to school for English. My mother pushing me to be a writer or an English teacher.
Imagine her when I decided I was going to help Sean start a record label instead. That's when I moved out and into this little house with Bennett. It's not small but it has enough room for enough people. Rainie's been sleeping in the "guest room" which Jonah's going to take for now. And there's two other rooms. One for Paul and one for me and Bennett.
"Elisa have you seen-"
"They're on the TV." I say. She never knows where her keys are now.
I hear her walk by filling my mouth with soggy cereal and listening to her sigh when she finds them. She walks in taking a breathe. She makes herself some cereal, I watch her.
In high school I thoguht she was gorgeous. Now there was no comparison. After her problems when Paul and her broke up the second time she was such a sickly kind of skinny. She was pale and boney. Now she was the same person on the outside Bennett and Paul must have met almost a year before I did. Her hair was still long and close to beign black. Her skin was pale. And her eyes were still grey-blue, but she had a new element to herself. But I knew better than anyone she wasn't the same person she had been when I got to know her in high school and up until two years ago.
She sits down. Eating cereal and catching her breathe. She works now as a writer of all things a magazine writer and she writes these really scary and almost haunting short stories. That's only now. Before she was writing more uplifting things but over two years her writing shifted into a new darkness.
"When are they coming here?" She asked looking at me. I don't know what she's thinking. She's much more reserved and walled up in this house.
"Five hours." I said. I freeze realizing I was counting them silently in my head.
She smiles at this. Looking down. Eating some more cereal. To make her feel more welcome I try and start conversation. Asking her about the next set of short stories she's publishing in a few more months. I want her to feel welcome because I have a feeling she thinks she's not welcome anymore.
When she leaves she'll go back to sleeping on couches. She doesn't want to go home to her parents. They are welcoming her too. But with Paul here she's going to end up all over the place. A few nights at her friend Jessicah's house. A few at Sean's apartment with Mike. Sometimes she goes home, but nothing's planned. Not anymore.
It's a safe guess her and Paul haven't talked in the past two years. Between two new records and touring there has only been an uncomfortable feeling mentioning anything. But I never ask. I just have evidence.
We save up sometimes. Buy beer and we'll drink it. I probably tlak non-stop about Bennett. And she talks about "him" with everything in past tense. There hasn't been a night Rainie has gone out on a date in the past few months. Nor has she talked about anything like that. We don't need to talk about those things. My life is probably mapped out right now if I want to think about it that way. I'm with Bennett. My stomach churning for when I see him today. For the first time in a month and a half in person.
The band was a long shot. Turns out it's working.
* * *
I was talking on the phone with Sean about this band we were thinking of signing. A little one. Nothing huge. "Shit." It was Rainie. She walked quickly. She burst into my room. "They're back early."
Her face was busy with distress. Desperation. "I'm screwed."
The frotn door opened and Jonah came in. "Eh-lisa!" He screamed.
"Sorry, I got to go, they're back."
"See you," Sean said. And I hung up.
"Jonah," I hurried out of the room. "Why are you here?"
"Early," He said grinning. "Why?"
"Rainie's here." I said.
"Rainie?" His face got serious. "Shit."
Rainie stood in my room. Nervous. She inhaled. "I'm stuck here right?"
I was worried. It didn't matter if they saw each other. But I didn't know what it was going to do to her. "Should I just go with it?" She asked.
Jonah turned around. "Ben," He said. "Paul in here?"
"No," I heard Bennett's voice. "Why?" I saw him and he looked at Jonah like jonah was crazier. Then he paused. "Oh-" He understood suddenly. "Um," He turned around. "I don't know he's on the phone with somone."
"I'm sorry," Rainie said to me. "I can go through with this. It doesn't matter, whatever. We'll see each other sooner or later."
It was uncomfortable. And I nodded. They brought things in and eventually Rainie had her duffle bag and came up to me. "Thank you, for everything." She hugged me. Her arms shakier than normal.
I hugged her back. "No problem."
And she started walking I didn't follow her. Bennett was in our room. I was playing with my necklace. He looked at me. "Is it bad?" He asked suddenly.
"She's had a few anxiety attacks in the past few months." I said softly. "She doesn't want me to tell anyone though. I think they've been happening for a while."
Rainie POV
I walked out. Taking in a deep breathe. He was hanging up the phone. His back to me. My heart started speeding. But i kept walking. I walked by him. And he didn't notice. I think he thought I was someone else. He stuck his phone into his pocket and took a bag out of the backseat of the car they must have gotten sometime in the past two years. I didn't recognize. The van must have finally died.
There was a relief making it past him. And suddenly I got to my car. Shoving the duffle bag into my passenger seat and starting it.
I made it. Out in one piece. I started driving. I was almsot gone, but suddenly I saw him. Frozen watching me. I remembered everything. My future planned around him. Those few words. "I think we need to rethink this. I don't want you living like this, Rain. I think we should have a break, sort everythign out and get a good idea of what it is we want."
The phrase "taking someone's breathe away" was never so close to being real.
What do you think? Alright? Should I go on. I might. I like it. It was refreshing writing it. OoOo. Maybe an unofficial sequel? I think so.
PCE.
JaseyRay.
So I'll post a little thing here. I may/may not finish it. But to see if you like it, and see if you want to know more. I don't know how well it will go over on FanFiction. But it's something I write when I'm bored. And delete. Because It's not worth getting into with my full heart. And I'm scared I will. But here goes...
Elisa's POV
I was eating cereal in the kitchen. That's all we usually eat now. There's not much money we have, and even on days like this we eat cereal. I sat at the little table we have. It's an awkward one that is a bench bent in the corner with a few more chairs on the un-benched areas but it's good. We usually have people coming in and out, but for now it's just me and Rainie.
It's been a few months. And I asked Bennett if it was okay if she stayed. I listened to her packing. Throwing things into her bags ready to go. Things have been awkward since her and Paul finally broke up.
These past few months have been good though. Out of everyone I like having her here most. She makes it easier. Cass and Miles are still together. Have been on and off and live together now too. And it's nice when I have someone here with me. Especially when everyone's gone.
We got this house a few months after Paul broke up with Rainie and him and Bennett's apartment complex was bought out. The rent went up and I was just getting out of school. I went to school for English. My mother pushing me to be a writer or an English teacher.
Imagine her when I decided I was going to help Sean start a record label instead. That's when I moved out and into this little house with Bennett. It's not small but it has enough room for enough people. Rainie's been sleeping in the "guest room" which Jonah's going to take for now. And there's two other rooms. One for Paul and one for me and Bennett.
"Elisa have you seen-"
"They're on the TV." I say. She never knows where her keys are now.
I hear her walk by filling my mouth with soggy cereal and listening to her sigh when she finds them. She walks in taking a breathe. She makes herself some cereal, I watch her.
In high school I thoguht she was gorgeous. Now there was no comparison. After her problems when Paul and her broke up the second time she was such a sickly kind of skinny. She was pale and boney. Now she was the same person on the outside Bennett and Paul must have met almost a year before I did. Her hair was still long and close to beign black. Her skin was pale. And her eyes were still grey-blue, but she had a new element to herself. But I knew better than anyone she wasn't the same person she had been when I got to know her in high school and up until two years ago.
She sits down. Eating cereal and catching her breathe. She works now as a writer of all things a magazine writer and she writes these really scary and almost haunting short stories. That's only now. Before she was writing more uplifting things but over two years her writing shifted into a new darkness.
"When are they coming here?" She asked looking at me. I don't know what she's thinking. She's much more reserved and walled up in this house.
"Five hours." I said. I freeze realizing I was counting them silently in my head.
She smiles at this. Looking down. Eating some more cereal. To make her feel more welcome I try and start conversation. Asking her about the next set of short stories she's publishing in a few more months. I want her to feel welcome because I have a feeling she thinks she's not welcome anymore.
When she leaves she'll go back to sleeping on couches. She doesn't want to go home to her parents. They are welcoming her too. But with Paul here she's going to end up all over the place. A few nights at her friend Jessicah's house. A few at Sean's apartment with Mike. Sometimes she goes home, but nothing's planned. Not anymore.
It's a safe guess her and Paul haven't talked in the past two years. Between two new records and touring there has only been an uncomfortable feeling mentioning anything. But I never ask. I just have evidence.
We save up sometimes. Buy beer and we'll drink it. I probably tlak non-stop about Bennett. And she talks about "him" with everything in past tense. There hasn't been a night Rainie has gone out on a date in the past few months. Nor has she talked about anything like that. We don't need to talk about those things. My life is probably mapped out right now if I want to think about it that way. I'm with Bennett. My stomach churning for when I see him today. For the first time in a month and a half in person.
The band was a long shot. Turns out it's working.
* * *
I was talking on the phone with Sean about this band we were thinking of signing. A little one. Nothing huge. "Shit." It was Rainie. She walked quickly. She burst into my room. "They're back early."
Her face was busy with distress. Desperation. "I'm screwed."
The frotn door opened and Jonah came in. "Eh-lisa!" He screamed.
"Sorry, I got to go, they're back."
"See you," Sean said. And I hung up.
"Jonah," I hurried out of the room. "Why are you here?"
"Early," He said grinning. "Why?"
"Rainie's here." I said.
"Rainie?" His face got serious. "Shit."
Rainie stood in my room. Nervous. She inhaled. "I'm stuck here right?"
I was worried. It didn't matter if they saw each other. But I didn't know what it was going to do to her. "Should I just go with it?" She asked.
Jonah turned around. "Ben," He said. "Paul in here?"
"No," I heard Bennett's voice. "Why?" I saw him and he looked at Jonah like jonah was crazier. Then he paused. "Oh-" He understood suddenly. "Um," He turned around. "I don't know he's on the phone with somone."
"I'm sorry," Rainie said to me. "I can go through with this. It doesn't matter, whatever. We'll see each other sooner or later."
It was uncomfortable. And I nodded. They brought things in and eventually Rainie had her duffle bag and came up to me. "Thank you, for everything." She hugged me. Her arms shakier than normal.
I hugged her back. "No problem."
And she started walking I didn't follow her. Bennett was in our room. I was playing with my necklace. He looked at me. "Is it bad?" He asked suddenly.
"She's had a few anxiety attacks in the past few months." I said softly. "She doesn't want me to tell anyone though. I think they've been happening for a while."
Rainie POV
I walked out. Taking in a deep breathe. He was hanging up the phone. His back to me. My heart started speeding. But i kept walking. I walked by him. And he didn't notice. I think he thought I was someone else. He stuck his phone into his pocket and took a bag out of the backseat of the car they must have gotten sometime in the past two years. I didn't recognize. The van must have finally died.
There was a relief making it past him. And suddenly I got to my car. Shoving the duffle bag into my passenger seat and starting it.
I made it. Out in one piece. I started driving. I was almsot gone, but suddenly I saw him. Frozen watching me. I remembered everything. My future planned around him. Those few words. "I think we need to rethink this. I don't want you living like this, Rain. I think we should have a break, sort everythign out and get a good idea of what it is we want."
The phrase "taking someone's breathe away" was never so close to being real.
What do you think? Alright? Should I go on. I might. I like it. It was refreshing writing it. OoOo. Maybe an unofficial sequel? I think so.
PCE.
JaseyRay.
Friday, February 27, 2009
"The moon doesn't make romance" Jimmy Robbins
Hi
New chapter up! Review! I'll continue the little thing I started in Bennett's POV. Possibly post it on Fanfiction? maybe that'll be fun.
Jasey Ray
New chapter up! Review! I'll continue the little thing I started in Bennett's POV. Possibly post it on Fanfiction? maybe that'll be fun.
Jasey Ray
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Quiz[illa] Results
I've been thinking about my roots for both Kerrington based stories and how they are so tied into Fast Times at Barrington High and how badly I need to change Bennett and everything that thinking back and telling my sister about both of my stories, I've realized that I have a kit of changing to do.
I think I based these stories too much on one source. And I'm spreading that out more. I've changed Paul a little. not a lot but he seems less like I may have projected him to be like a big old muscular body builder freak. He's not. Rereading it that was my top priority. And also I realized that I may have unintentionally formed a fictional Academy Is... band. Which is badass and probably only something I will recognize.
Although.... if these books do get published.... maybe they'll be my ticket to meeting them. That's a good idea. Letting people know she loved William Beckett helped Demi Lavato meet William Beckett....
I see a great plan unfolding. But I'll get to work making this so I can actually think of publishing these stories. I'll be looking up some more publishing companies. I've got one already that I like and expect to be shut down by.
And somehow I'm excited out of my mind for failure like that. It means I'm going somewhere.
Ish.
JaseyRay.
Picture Quiz[illa]
Picture Quiz[illa]
Which one is looks most like Paul Spinella?
A)
B)
Which one is looks most like Paul Spinella?
A)
B)
C)
D)
E)
I've been worrying about this. And I'm sort of gettign second thoguhts about where my inspiraton for Paul came from. I thought it was from this other idea but thinking about "The Last Place You Look" and "Perfect Kisses Lead To One Night Stands" I'm sort of thinking I unconciously stole inspiration from someone in real life.
I've been worrying about this. And I'm sort of gettign second thoguhts about where my inspiraton for Paul came from. I thought it was from this other idea but thinking about "The Last Place You Look" and "Perfect Kisses Lead To One Night Stands" I'm sort of thinking I unconciously stole inspiration from someone in real life.
All of these dudes are in bands. Which one looks most like Paul Spinella? And Why?
:\
JaseyRay.
"The Love" The Morning Light
Hi
New chapter up. Woo-hoo. "The Last Place You Look" still gets more views? Oof. Review please if your reading this and say hello. Tell me everything about the story you like. I'll post a quiz after the next chapter I'm writing. Or here. Whatever.
I was thinking about this a lot lately. I'll post a little picture quiz[illa] for yah. I need an unbiased view.
YOOOOO
JaseyRay
New chapter up. Woo-hoo. "The Last Place You Look" still gets more views? Oof. Review please if your reading this and say hello. Tell me everything about the story you like. I'll post a quiz after the next chapter I'm writing. Or here. Whatever.
I was thinking about this a lot lately. I'll post a little picture quiz[illa] for yah. I need an unbiased view.
YOOOOO
JaseyRay
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
"Ashala Rock" The Early November
Hi
So I've been unintentionally listening to every interview of The Starting Line and discovered they were once named Sunday Drive. Which made me think: Hah! Yes! There was a band called Sunday Drive that didn't suck (sorry to the band that is :\).
The reaosn I am who I am is because of the band The Early November. They broke up and I didn't feel the hit until a year later. And I bought my first Early November record and I watched it right when I was gettign depressed over them braking up. And like many music fans I became bitter. I hated Ace Enders (frontman and my now idol) and blamed him for them braking up. And when I started writing "The Last Place You Look" I had about three Early November records out of their four in all of their career. And I was still feeling really depressed about it. And so I thought up a band, naming it after a song by The Early November ("Sunday Drive" For All This/The Acoustic EP) and planned to have them brake up.
Sunday Drive was to me originally The Early November as a character in my book of sorts. But the main song I talked about in both stories was the song that in Rainie's POV "killed me." That song was actually inspired by a Brand New song. I got a lot of my inspiration for Rainie and Paul from this one Brand New song. It's called "The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot" and unlike most songs that inspired that story, it spoke to me from both of their points of view.
But the epic Sunday Drive song that "killed" Rainie was inspired by "Play Crack the Sky" by Brand New. And it's basically my favorite song ever. But I'll get into that later. Not now. Because I have a little gift for you. As I write to keep you calm and collected.
But listen ot The Early November. I suggest "1000 Times A Day" from their last record The Mother, The Mechanic and The Path. It was the osng that changed my life and I plan it to be my wedding song.
A story about a Song: I dated this kid for about three months. We were best friends and I thought I liked him and he "loved" me but I couldn't feel about him that way. So eventually we broke up. But when I was "head over heels" for the kid I was planning to show him "1000 Times A Day" by The Early November. For some reason I didn't. And I decided until I love a boy and he doesn't know that song or knows it and never brings it us, I won't play it ever for a boy. But when he comes along I'll show it to him unless he's an ass and listens to crap. Then I won't bother. That's one of my cheesy plans for the future. I have a dozen or so planned to go along with my lifetime.
* * *
Part One
"Anyway, I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in a bug feild of rye and all. Thousands of little kids, and nobody's around- nobody, big, I mean- except me. And I'm standing on the edge of some crazt cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff- I mean if they're running and they don't look where they are going I have to come from somewhere and catch them. That's all I'd do all day. I'd just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it's crazy, but that's the only thing I'd really like to be."
I read this first when I moved here to Kerrignton. When I was just Bennett. The new kid. The boy who showed up out of nowhere. Who was just a lame nobody. With one mother and no father. Who did nothing but sit and be there. And somehow got a girl in two weeks. When I read it, like mostly everything else in the world to me, it made no sense. That one thought was crazy to me back then.
But now it makes more sense to me. It makes perfect sense actually.
Having read this book so many time I know it by heart. Each beat, word, it's like the ABC's for me. That's why Sean gives me such a hard time about reading it for school again. "Why the hell would you read that thing over again?"
Why not?
But I'm reading it for a reason now. Something more than it's my favorite book and a simple stupid answer I give anyone who asks. After these past few weeks, I'm reading it for that one passage. So it makes sense to me again.
So sometihng will finally make sense to me again. But reading it then doesn't do the trick this time. I mean, nothing's ever set in stone, but I relied on this moment to make everything fit in place for once after everything. The bell rings and still nothing happens.
And I get up. Becoming Bennett Williams like I always do. The halls staring at me. And I hate it. I hate everything. I don't listen. I tune the world out. I'm good at that by now.
I became Bennett Williams three months after movign here. The first three months always sound like they were easy. And they weren't. I had to deal with everyone. All of these people pretending to be my friends. And all of these girls pretending they were better than each other. And the world making no sense. I made through them with the triumpant limp I inherited from my parent's divorce.
The divroce was long and messy. Screaming. Yelling. Fighting. I was fifteen. what did I know about any of that? I had a good idea of it though. My dad isn't a bad person. He's just not worth worrying about and anything like that. He's fine on his own. I'm with my mother because she needs me. And in some ways I need her too.
But on the third motnh I was sitting quietly. Fucking up the first relationship of my life and not knowing my losing streak would continue even when I almost was in the realitonship I always hoped for. I fucked that up too. But this kid was listening to the radio at the end of class.
This good song came on and everyone groaned. I looked at the boy who was singing along with it nodding his head. "What is this?"
He looked at me. Like I lived under a rock. "Dashboard Confessional." He said.
"Oh."
"You've never heard them before?"
I shook my head.
"Well, I'm Sean," He stuck his hand out. "I'll help you out of the rok you're living under, kid."
And six months later I was Bennett Williams. I his my growth spurt over the summer and shot up. I was tall and skinny. And my clothes exposed that to everyone. I wore tight jeans and band shirts. I was Bennett Williams. And soon everyone stared at me. They never stopped. Then I hear it: "How's Rainie Joseph, fag?"
Not good.
~~~~
Her name is Rainie. I met her one night. She came up to me and said she liked my music. And talked to me about it. The thing that sets her apart from any girl that has boys staring at her and falling for her left and right is that she's beautiful.
She almost dated Sean. I didn't want her too but they liked each other. But for some reason I got the hint someone else was there. Competing for her same as Sean. And I was right. His name is Paul Spinella. And after one month, you could tell, he was head over heels in love with Rainie.
They broke up because of me. When I told her I liked her when I was smashed. I don't get into a lot of actual relationships. I'm just the guy girls cheat on theit boyfriends with and pretend I have a chance to have an actual relationship. And I drink a lot. Not anymore. But I did. I stopped. For her.
She fell in love. With Paul Spinella.
It was hard. But it was set in stone for them. The reason I know is because I always remember her. She was wearing this green dress. One that made her probably the most beautiful person I've ever seen. And she was standing in the fields after prom and I saw the way she looked at him quickly. It was when she didn't know she loved Paul. And he looked at her the same way.
They are meant to be together.
But for some reason she's in my room every night or chance she has. After a few shots she starts. I stopped drinking. And I listen now. Holding her for Paul. And she cries about him. For some reason she broke up with him. And came to me. Out of everyone. She came to me.
And she talks about him four hours every night. And when she kisses me she calls me Paul sometimes and cries a lot. She loves him so much. And I know he never stopped loving her back.
But I walk into my English class late. Ms. Masons standing there. She hands me my paper. "Hello," She said. She points to a red seven. "You're in group seven. It's Rachel's group over there."
I nod. "Thanks," I say. I walk over. It's these three girls. Rachel taking the worksheet each group mus have gotten and working. "Is this group 7?"
She smiles at me. She told me she liked me when she was drunk once and I was waiting for Rainie at a party. "Yes it is."
I pull a seat out looking at the girl across from me. The girl next to me- Izzy I know her as, is asleep. As usual. I don't know the girl in front of me. I didn't know she was in my class actually. Her head is down. Folding her cover back and forth.
I place my copy in front of me. Looking down at it. And thinking. Running that passage thorugh my head. I didn't know why it didn't make sense. I needed it to. Now more than anything. Because I was suddenly the catcher in the rye. And no matter how little I deserved that title, I was there to hold on tight to Rainie. Knowing very well she's never going to feel the same way I feel about her. I don't even feel much. I know she needs Paul. Not me.
Somehow my eyes catch these two words. I can't help myself. I look at the girl across from me. "I love Dashboard." I say.
She looks up. She's pretty. But it's those eyes. She looks like I'm holding a gun pressing it to her forehead. She's terrified. Her eyes big and blank. She swallows. Almost gasping. I didn't know why she would be scared of me. "Dashboard Confessional," I say again. "I love them."
Maybe she's new. She swallows again. "Me too." She says. Her voice is small and pretty too. Soft. She looks down at her book again.
I sit more foreward. "Did you see them over the summer?" I ask. I don't know why I'm trying. She is so scared looking. But I feel the need to. I don't want her to be so scared.
She looks up again. "Yeah," She said softly again.
I nod. "I wanted to og so bad. But I had to see Sunday Drive. I didn't have enough money to go to both."
She looks at me. Her eyes are hazel. I've never seen anyone with hazel eyes like hers. They're soft and scared. Shaking and glimmering with something in them. "I love Sunday Drive." She says.
to be continued...(?)
So I've been unintentionally listening to every interview of The Starting Line and discovered they were once named Sunday Drive. Which made me think: Hah! Yes! There was a band called Sunday Drive that didn't suck (sorry to the band that is :\).
The reaosn I am who I am is because of the band The Early November. They broke up and I didn't feel the hit until a year later. And I bought my first Early November record and I watched it right when I was gettign depressed over them braking up. And like many music fans I became bitter. I hated Ace Enders (frontman and my now idol) and blamed him for them braking up. And when I started writing "The Last Place You Look" I had about three Early November records out of their four in all of their career. And I was still feeling really depressed about it. And so I thought up a band, naming it after a song by The Early November ("Sunday Drive" For All This/The Acoustic EP) and planned to have them brake up.
Sunday Drive was to me originally The Early November as a character in my book of sorts. But the main song I talked about in both stories was the song that in Rainie's POV "killed me." That song was actually inspired by a Brand New song. I got a lot of my inspiration for Rainie and Paul from this one Brand New song. It's called "The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot" and unlike most songs that inspired that story, it spoke to me from both of their points of view.
But the epic Sunday Drive song that "killed" Rainie was inspired by "Play Crack the Sky" by Brand New. And it's basically my favorite song ever. But I'll get into that later. Not now. Because I have a little gift for you. As I write to keep you calm and collected.
But listen ot The Early November. I suggest "1000 Times A Day" from their last record The Mother, The Mechanic and The Path. It was the osng that changed my life and I plan it to be my wedding song.
A story about a Song: I dated this kid for about three months. We were best friends and I thought I liked him and he "loved" me but I couldn't feel about him that way. So eventually we broke up. But when I was "head over heels" for the kid I was planning to show him "1000 Times A Day" by The Early November. For some reason I didn't. And I decided until I love a boy and he doesn't know that song or knows it and never brings it us, I won't play it ever for a boy. But when he comes along I'll show it to him unless he's an ass and listens to crap. Then I won't bother. That's one of my cheesy plans for the future. I have a dozen or so planned to go along with my lifetime.
* * *
Part One
"Anyway, I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in a bug feild of rye and all. Thousands of little kids, and nobody's around- nobody, big, I mean- except me. And I'm standing on the edge of some crazt cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff- I mean if they're running and they don't look where they are going I have to come from somewhere and catch them. That's all I'd do all day. I'd just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it's crazy, but that's the only thing I'd really like to be."
I read this first when I moved here to Kerrignton. When I was just Bennett. The new kid. The boy who showed up out of nowhere. Who was just a lame nobody. With one mother and no father. Who did nothing but sit and be there. And somehow got a girl in two weeks. When I read it, like mostly everything else in the world to me, it made no sense. That one thought was crazy to me back then.
But now it makes more sense to me. It makes perfect sense actually.
Having read this book so many time I know it by heart. Each beat, word, it's like the ABC's for me. That's why Sean gives me such a hard time about reading it for school again. "Why the hell would you read that thing over again?"
Why not?
But I'm reading it for a reason now. Something more than it's my favorite book and a simple stupid answer I give anyone who asks. After these past few weeks, I'm reading it for that one passage. So it makes sense to me again.
So sometihng will finally make sense to me again. But reading it then doesn't do the trick this time. I mean, nothing's ever set in stone, but I relied on this moment to make everything fit in place for once after everything. The bell rings and still nothing happens.
And I get up. Becoming Bennett Williams like I always do. The halls staring at me. And I hate it. I hate everything. I don't listen. I tune the world out. I'm good at that by now.
I became Bennett Williams three months after movign here. The first three months always sound like they were easy. And they weren't. I had to deal with everyone. All of these people pretending to be my friends. And all of these girls pretending they were better than each other. And the world making no sense. I made through them with the triumpant limp I inherited from my parent's divorce.
The divroce was long and messy. Screaming. Yelling. Fighting. I was fifteen. what did I know about any of that? I had a good idea of it though. My dad isn't a bad person. He's just not worth worrying about and anything like that. He's fine on his own. I'm with my mother because she needs me. And in some ways I need her too.
But on the third motnh I was sitting quietly. Fucking up the first relationship of my life and not knowing my losing streak would continue even when I almost was in the realitonship I always hoped for. I fucked that up too. But this kid was listening to the radio at the end of class.
This good song came on and everyone groaned. I looked at the boy who was singing along with it nodding his head. "What is this?"
He looked at me. Like I lived under a rock. "Dashboard Confessional." He said.
"Oh."
"You've never heard them before?"
I shook my head.
"Well, I'm Sean," He stuck his hand out. "I'll help you out of the rok you're living under, kid."
And six months later I was Bennett Williams. I his my growth spurt over the summer and shot up. I was tall and skinny. And my clothes exposed that to everyone. I wore tight jeans and band shirts. I was Bennett Williams. And soon everyone stared at me. They never stopped. Then I hear it: "How's Rainie Joseph, fag?"
Not good.
~~~~
Her name is Rainie. I met her one night. She came up to me and said she liked my music. And talked to me about it. The thing that sets her apart from any girl that has boys staring at her and falling for her left and right is that she's beautiful.
She almost dated Sean. I didn't want her too but they liked each other. But for some reason I got the hint someone else was there. Competing for her same as Sean. And I was right. His name is Paul Spinella. And after one month, you could tell, he was head over heels in love with Rainie.
They broke up because of me. When I told her I liked her when I was smashed. I don't get into a lot of actual relationships. I'm just the guy girls cheat on theit boyfriends with and pretend I have a chance to have an actual relationship. And I drink a lot. Not anymore. But I did. I stopped. For her.
She fell in love. With Paul Spinella.
It was hard. But it was set in stone for them. The reason I know is because I always remember her. She was wearing this green dress. One that made her probably the most beautiful person I've ever seen. And she was standing in the fields after prom and I saw the way she looked at him quickly. It was when she didn't know she loved Paul. And he looked at her the same way.
They are meant to be together.
But for some reason she's in my room every night or chance she has. After a few shots she starts. I stopped drinking. And I listen now. Holding her for Paul. And she cries about him. For some reason she broke up with him. And came to me. Out of everyone. She came to me.
And she talks about him four hours every night. And when she kisses me she calls me Paul sometimes and cries a lot. She loves him so much. And I know he never stopped loving her back.
But I walk into my English class late. Ms. Masons standing there. She hands me my paper. "Hello," She said. She points to a red seven. "You're in group seven. It's Rachel's group over there."
I nod. "Thanks," I say. I walk over. It's these three girls. Rachel taking the worksheet each group mus have gotten and working. "Is this group 7?"
She smiles at me. She told me she liked me when she was drunk once and I was waiting for Rainie at a party. "Yes it is."
I pull a seat out looking at the girl across from me. The girl next to me- Izzy I know her as, is asleep. As usual. I don't know the girl in front of me. I didn't know she was in my class actually. Her head is down. Folding her cover back and forth.
I place my copy in front of me. Looking down at it. And thinking. Running that passage thorugh my head. I didn't know why it didn't make sense. I needed it to. Now more than anything. Because I was suddenly the catcher in the rye. And no matter how little I deserved that title, I was there to hold on tight to Rainie. Knowing very well she's never going to feel the same way I feel about her. I don't even feel much. I know she needs Paul. Not me.
Somehow my eyes catch these two words. I can't help myself. I look at the girl across from me. "I love Dashboard." I say.
She looks up. She's pretty. But it's those eyes. She looks like I'm holding a gun pressing it to her forehead. She's terrified. Her eyes big and blank. She swallows. Almost gasping. I didn't know why she would be scared of me. "Dashboard Confessional," I say again. "I love them."
Maybe she's new. She swallows again. "Me too." She says. Her voice is small and pretty too. Soft. She looks down at her book again.
I sit more foreward. "Did you see them over the summer?" I ask. I don't know why I'm trying. She is so scared looking. But I feel the need to. I don't want her to be so scared.
She looks up again. "Yeah," She said softly again.
I nod. "I wanted to og so bad. But I had to see Sunday Drive. I didn't have enough money to go to both."
She looks at me. Her eyes are hazel. I've never seen anyone with hazel eyes like hers. They're soft and scared. Shaking and glimmering with something in them. "I love Sunday Drive." She says.
to be continued...(?)
Love your work-Jaseyray.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
"Seed" The Academy Is...
Hi
The first story that was set in present times that I came up with was called "Rain Clouds Clear Skies." My other two main stories were set in Medieval times and the other a Harry Potter rip-off. But this was my first in the genre I tend to write in now. Where I get my pen name and where I decided I liked writing about emo kids. It's about a girl who moves to this small town she hates and she meets this kid Mike who she becomes friends with and she thinks he's perfect and everything and the whole town looks perfect to her. This was before The Academy Is... was even in my life but Mike was a really big inspiration for Bennett Williams and I stole a lot from his character for Bennett. So I don't know if I'll write it out because Bennett and Mike will be too similar. But Jasey (Yes her name is Jasey) is so fun to write from her POV. She's much like myself while I was writing it.
So here goes...
It rained. Not drizzling or slow heavy raindrops; it was soft heavy raindrops showering from the gray dull clouds around the town. During our Photography class it started. The rain wanted to leave no area or thing not soaken.
I loved rain more than anything. I was the thought of rain that made me want to smile. The one thing I love most is the smell. The wet, humid smell. Rain was like the first snow day for me.
For the rest of the period my eyes were glued to the clock or the window. I wanted to get outside. Mike would watch me. He smiled whenever I looked at the clock. whenever he smiled Taylor's cheeks would burn. Mr Ryan was showcasing the best pieces of work right before our vacation. Spring Break.
The bell rang and I got up I nearly ran out to the hall, but they were jammed with students. I didn't look weird. I took in a deep breathe to calm myself. Kyle always hated rain. If he could he'd live in a desert so he didn't need to deal with rain.
Five minutes later I was getting my stuff together, listening to Mike and Taylor talk. She stood in between us. I never cared, but she always flaunted herself in front of Mike like she was going out of style.
"My mom is giving me a ride home." She said in her cutesy voice. "We could drop you off at your house, if you want."
I shut my locker and knelt onto the floor securing the items in my bag- procrastinating, waiting for the halls to empty. "Um," Mike said. "I think my mom is driving me home."
"Okay," Then she kissed him. A serious, sort of shoving him backwards kiss. "Bye."
I made a face at her. I had to witness Taylor mark her territory yet again. I zipped my bag and Mike shut his locker.
"So," He said to me. "I assume you're walking home."
I locked my locker. "Yeah," I smiled. "I guess."
He locked his locker, and I slung one strap on my backpack over my shoulder. "Could you use some company?" He asked smiling.
"Your mom is driving you home though." I said.
"You do that to the boyfriend all the time." He said. "I can lie too."
"Can't tell Taylor we did this." I said as we walked down the hallways.
"I won't plan on it anytime soon," Mike said.
Then school was empty by the time we stepped outside. Cars were driving off and the buses long gone. Nobody seemed to have walked home but us.
My hair was dark and wet, matching Mike's as we stepped onto the sidewalk. It stuck to my forehead and anything it could reach below my jaw line. I walked on the slow side staring up at the vertical view of rain pouring down on us. The rain puddle lying on the edge of the road was constantly moving like a minute ocean.
Mike jumped into it sending the water out, soaking me. Then I jumped on him. I grabbed a little above his neck and his hands stopped at my waist. We froze and when we stopped/ Frozen solid breathing and staring at each other's eyes.
* * *
Yuo may have always wondered why Rainie Joseph got her name. Her name is a metaphor I concieved writing "Rain Clouds Clear Skies." Rain Clouds Clear Skies means that even in a clear sky there are clouds. Nothing is perfect. And nothing is complete free of flaws. And Rainie depicts that.
The summer when I was writing "Rain Clouds Clear Skies" I was also writing EMO poems that I may or may not post. It's completely personal and about my life and expiriences of that summer and it's sad and depressingly haunting to anyone who knows what was really happened. Which is one person. Nothing bad happened to me. But I wasn't in a good place. And I concieved another idea. That rain is the world washing away all the bad things in life. And whenever it rained I always went outside and "cleansed" myself so to speak. I really jsut wanted everything bad going on in my head to go away.
I sound liek I was bi-polar and crazy. On-the-fence insane. I wasn't. I just had this really dark period I think was the second case of depression I've had in my life.
But naming the character Rainie was difficult. I had come up with the idea of a really dorky quirky girl who had a lot happen to her falling in love with someone who was "strong" enough to hold her together. Making Rainie a slut was unintentional. The reason I did was because I had the idea of rumors going around of- the then "Adam" now Bennett Williams and a girl who was a slut. So I gave more to that character. And I tend to mix ideas. And I mixed Rainie with that "slut" and then created Paul. The emo, physically strong, guitar player who falls in love with Rainie and who she falls in love with.
To me the character Rainie captures those two ideas in a subtle hidden way. I mean I don't know how many english dorks could pry that out of:
My aim was great these days. This time when I jumped up behind him, my hands covered his eyes perfectly again. He jumped a little. Not so much this time. Showing me he didn’t expect me to jump up behind him. But the moment his eyes were suddenly blocked he had a feeling it was me. Because the first words to come out of his mouth when he relaxed- his lighter and cigarette hitting the ground loudly- “Rainie, what the fuck are you doing?”
But then again I think if you caught me on a role in English class not having written this book, I could have come up with something similar. And I'm not being cocky but I do tend to say crap like that all the time.
Maybe some more later. Or a little one-shot because I've been writing a lot of those lately.
WWOh.
JaseyRay.
The first story that was set in present times that I came up with was called "Rain Clouds Clear Skies." My other two main stories were set in Medieval times and the other a Harry Potter rip-off. But this was my first in the genre I tend to write in now. Where I get my pen name and where I decided I liked writing about emo kids. It's about a girl who moves to this small town she hates and she meets this kid Mike who she becomes friends with and she thinks he's perfect and everything and the whole town looks perfect to her. This was before The Academy Is... was even in my life but Mike was a really big inspiration for Bennett Williams and I stole a lot from his character for Bennett. So I don't know if I'll write it out because Bennett and Mike will be too similar. But Jasey (Yes her name is Jasey) is so fun to write from her POV. She's much like myself while I was writing it.
So here goes...
It rained. Not drizzling or slow heavy raindrops; it was soft heavy raindrops showering from the gray dull clouds around the town. During our Photography class it started. The rain wanted to leave no area or thing not soaken.
I loved rain more than anything. I was the thought of rain that made me want to smile. The one thing I love most is the smell. The wet, humid smell. Rain was like the first snow day for me.
For the rest of the period my eyes were glued to the clock or the window. I wanted to get outside. Mike would watch me. He smiled whenever I looked at the clock. whenever he smiled Taylor's cheeks would burn. Mr Ryan was showcasing the best pieces of work right before our vacation. Spring Break.
The bell rang and I got up I nearly ran out to the hall, but they were jammed with students. I didn't look weird. I took in a deep breathe to calm myself. Kyle always hated rain. If he could he'd live in a desert so he didn't need to deal with rain.
Five minutes later I was getting my stuff together, listening to Mike and Taylor talk. She stood in between us. I never cared, but she always flaunted herself in front of Mike like she was going out of style.
"My mom is giving me a ride home." She said in her cutesy voice. "We could drop you off at your house, if you want."
I shut my locker and knelt onto the floor securing the items in my bag- procrastinating, waiting for the halls to empty. "Um," Mike said. "I think my mom is driving me home."
"Okay," Then she kissed him. A serious, sort of shoving him backwards kiss. "Bye."
I made a face at her. I had to witness Taylor mark her territory yet again. I zipped my bag and Mike shut his locker.
"So," He said to me. "I assume you're walking home."
I locked my locker. "Yeah," I smiled. "I guess."
He locked his locker, and I slung one strap on my backpack over my shoulder. "Could you use some company?" He asked smiling.
"Your mom is driving you home though." I said.
"You do that to the boyfriend all the time." He said. "I can lie too."
"Can't tell Taylor we did this." I said as we walked down the hallways.
"I won't plan on it anytime soon," Mike said.
Then school was empty by the time we stepped outside. Cars were driving off and the buses long gone. Nobody seemed to have walked home but us.
My hair was dark and wet, matching Mike's as we stepped onto the sidewalk. It stuck to my forehead and anything it could reach below my jaw line. I walked on the slow side staring up at the vertical view of rain pouring down on us. The rain puddle lying on the edge of the road was constantly moving like a minute ocean.
Mike jumped into it sending the water out, soaking me. Then I jumped on him. I grabbed a little above his neck and his hands stopped at my waist. We froze and when we stopped/ Frozen solid breathing and staring at each other's eyes.
* * *
Yuo may have always wondered why Rainie Joseph got her name. Her name is a metaphor I concieved writing "Rain Clouds Clear Skies." Rain Clouds Clear Skies means that even in a clear sky there are clouds. Nothing is perfect. And nothing is complete free of flaws. And Rainie depicts that.
The summer when I was writing "Rain Clouds Clear Skies" I was also writing EMO poems that I may or may not post. It's completely personal and about my life and expiriences of that summer and it's sad and depressingly haunting to anyone who knows what was really happened. Which is one person. Nothing bad happened to me. But I wasn't in a good place. And I concieved another idea. That rain is the world washing away all the bad things in life. And whenever it rained I always went outside and "cleansed" myself so to speak. I really jsut wanted everything bad going on in my head to go away.
I sound liek I was bi-polar and crazy. On-the-fence insane. I wasn't. I just had this really dark period I think was the second case of depression I've had in my life.
But naming the character Rainie was difficult. I had come up with the idea of a really dorky quirky girl who had a lot happen to her falling in love with someone who was "strong" enough to hold her together. Making Rainie a slut was unintentional. The reason I did was because I had the idea of rumors going around of- the then "Adam" now Bennett Williams and a girl who was a slut. So I gave more to that character. And I tend to mix ideas. And I mixed Rainie with that "slut" and then created Paul. The emo, physically strong, guitar player who falls in love with Rainie and who she falls in love with.
To me the character Rainie captures those two ideas in a subtle hidden way. I mean I don't know how many english dorks could pry that out of:
My aim was great these days. This time when I jumped up behind him, my hands covered his eyes perfectly again. He jumped a little. Not so much this time. Showing me he didn’t expect me to jump up behind him. But the moment his eyes were suddenly blocked he had a feeling it was me. Because the first words to come out of his mouth when he relaxed- his lighter and cigarette hitting the ground loudly- “Rainie, what the fuck are you doing?”
But then again I think if you caught me on a role in English class not having written this book, I could have come up with something similar. And I'm not being cocky but I do tend to say crap like that all the time.
Maybe some more later. Or a little one-shot because I've been writing a lot of those lately.
WWOh.
JaseyRay.
"Being Around (Lemonheads Cover)" Anthony Green and Craig Owens
Hi
FanFiction is pissing me off. I want to break something. Oof.
I'm dying to write. Nothing to post with.
I need to stop. I'll burn a hole in this screen. I'm filling a notebook tonight. It's going to be done soon. So excited. Starting new. Starting Fresh. I'll possibly post something really old for kicks and shit. You can post anonymous comments if your lurking and reading this now. I just figured out how to allow such busniess.
I'm loving Mike Carden (The Academy Is...) today. And Anthony Green (Circa Survive, ex-Saosin, ex-Zolof and the Rock and Roll Destryoers) and Craig Owens (Chiodos, Cinematic Sunrise, Untitled-HardcoreProject-with-The-Academy-Is'-drum-tech, Charles Bukowski lover).
Rock on.
JaseyRay
FanFiction is pissing me off. I want to break something. Oof.
I'm dying to write. Nothing to post with.
I need to stop. I'll burn a hole in this screen. I'm filling a notebook tonight. It's going to be done soon. So excited. Starting new. Starting Fresh. I'll possibly post something really old for kicks and shit. You can post anonymous comments if your lurking and reading this now. I just figured out how to allow such busniess.
I'm loving Mike Carden (The Academy Is...) today. And Anthony Green (Circa Survive, ex-Saosin, ex-Zolof and the Rock and Roll Destryoers) and Craig Owens (Chiodos, Cinematic Sunrise, Untitled-HardcoreProject-with-The-Academy-Is'-drum-tech, Charles Bukowski lover).
Rock on.
JaseyRay
Monday, February 23, 2009
"Paper Covers Rock" Visions of Cody
Hi
Was reading my old notes for some inspiration. My FanFic is usted and won't let me log in and when I do it won't let me update. But I found a funny little thing.
The thing I posted of my first notes of "The Last Place You Look" wasn't really the first. It was early stuff but it's so off. I knew he wasn't always Bennett. So picture this... Adam with spikey crazy hair in love with Ellie who seems to have no personality or qualities of her own.
So funny. Laughing for hours. Not Really. But man all I can picture is this crazy purple haired punk rocker especially how I portrayed "Adam" and I even know the picture I was trying to recreate in my writing. Oh god.
Miss you already
JaseyRay.
Was reading my old notes for some inspiration. My FanFic is usted and won't let me log in and when I do it won't let me update. But I found a funny little thing.
The thing I posted of my first notes of "The Last Place You Look" wasn't really the first. It was early stuff but it's so off. I knew he wasn't always Bennett. So picture this... Adam with spikey crazy hair in love with Ellie who seems to have no personality or qualities of her own.
So funny. Laughing for hours. Not Really. But man all I can picture is this crazy purple haired punk rocker especially how I portrayed "Adam" and I even know the picture I was trying to recreate in my writing. Oh god.
Miss you already
JaseyRay.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
"LAX to O'Hare" The Academy Is...
Hi
So after looking into some more publishing stuff I'm thinking of submitting into one. Which means my writing will be starting up again. And I will be editing and working hard. And and really exctied. I am not anticipating ot be huge or anything but I am sooo excited and inspired.
I went to a show yesterday and my mind is bursting with ideas. Live music is the best thing ever.
The old ex-boyfriend and I are friends again and he dared to question my compulsive CD buying. I don't give direct answers really. But buying CDs is something you can easily get hooked on. It's not just buying pieces of plastic and music that play numbers thay come out as music in a stereo. It's like capturing a moment of your life.
My goal in life is to take my music library and apply it to my teenage life. And whatever shit went down. I can go along my library and summarize my life along to it. From 4th grade where I got my first record (Green Day "American Idoit") and what's cool is I can tell where I could have taken a bad turn and gone into the world of Pop music. Oof.
If you noticed Bennett and Paul and Elisa buy a lot of CDs or have them more like it. I don't know many people besides me who have the legit thing anymore. I thin kthey all resort to iTunes. And if I go through my iPod- although I love my iPod Thor (not to be confused with my ceramic turtle Thor) very dearly and love it and live to it- I can't tell you anything about myself by scrolling through a playlist. Maybe. A little. But with the thing right in front of me I can see the changes and moods of my life and the tones of it.
The reason I write about "emo" kids is that they are more fragile. And not only do they never have any spotlight other than on the internet, they aren't just fags who slit their wrists. The difference between and emo and a "prep" is that the emo is wearing thier heart on their sleeve. The original intent of an emo was basically a punk rocker who got into the emotional side of rock music. And they let the world se what their feeling. Now it doesn't matter. The "preps" are projecting this idea and the emos are too.
The fakest kids I know are the people that go "I'm preppy" or "I'm emo" or whatever. I was like that and it's so hard because you want to be something but you fight what you want and it's stupid. I just want to wear my Jimmy Robbins shirt to school and wear jeans I love and shoes I like.
But W-whatever. I've been doing that all day. It's so annoyign and fun. Especially when you do it Kenny Vasoli (The Starting Line, Person L) style (YouTube Video: Making of "The Best Of Me")
B Yahself.
JaseyRay.
So after looking into some more publishing stuff I'm thinking of submitting into one. Which means my writing will be starting up again. And I will be editing and working hard. And and really exctied. I am not anticipating ot be huge or anything but I am sooo excited and inspired.
I went to a show yesterday and my mind is bursting with ideas. Live music is the best thing ever.
The old ex-boyfriend and I are friends again and he dared to question my compulsive CD buying. I don't give direct answers really. But buying CDs is something you can easily get hooked on. It's not just buying pieces of plastic and music that play numbers thay come out as music in a stereo. It's like capturing a moment of your life.
My goal in life is to take my music library and apply it to my teenage life. And whatever shit went down. I can go along my library and summarize my life along to it. From 4th grade where I got my first record (Green Day "American Idoit") and what's cool is I can tell where I could have taken a bad turn and gone into the world of Pop music. Oof.
If you noticed Bennett and Paul and Elisa buy a lot of CDs or have them more like it. I don't know many people besides me who have the legit thing anymore. I thin kthey all resort to iTunes. And if I go through my iPod- although I love my iPod Thor (not to be confused with my ceramic turtle Thor) very dearly and love it and live to it- I can't tell you anything about myself by scrolling through a playlist. Maybe. A little. But with the thing right in front of me I can see the changes and moods of my life and the tones of it.
The reason I write about "emo" kids is that they are more fragile. And not only do they never have any spotlight other than on the internet, they aren't just fags who slit their wrists. The difference between and emo and a "prep" is that the emo is wearing thier heart on their sleeve. The original intent of an emo was basically a punk rocker who got into the emotional side of rock music. And they let the world se what their feeling. Now it doesn't matter. The "preps" are projecting this idea and the emos are too.
The fakest kids I know are the people that go "I'm preppy" or "I'm emo" or whatever. I was like that and it's so hard because you want to be something but you fight what you want and it's stupid. I just want to wear my Jimmy Robbins shirt to school and wear jeans I love and shoes I like.
But W-whatever. I've been doing that all day. It's so annoyign and fun. Especially when you do it Kenny Vasoli (The Starting Line, Person L) style (YouTube Video: Making of "The Best Of Me")
B Yahself.
JaseyRay.
Nardwaur Interview with Mike Carden
The man in this interview is both annoying and on drugs. And what makes this epic is the fact that Mike wants to punch him halfway through. Basically I wish I was the interviewer's best friend. He's the man. Jonah meets an obnoxious dude. Hahah.
"Cherub Rock" Smashing Pumpkins
Hi
So my attempt to read Breaking Dawn is going awful. I'm giving up.
Edward is sooo weird. William Beckett is the only kind of vampire I like. (Only because the images of Mike Carden as a vampire are creepy too, I much prefer him as a clown). Plus if a girl can mack on another guy and then go back ot her boyfriend she's a weirdo. Someone has commitment issues...
But yes. So I've been looking more in to publishing and what not. I found one I was excited about. A publishing company that is. The entry fee not so much. $4ooo. Oof. I'm going to have ot move to Canada for the first one I looked at too.
I'll chill. Enter some writing contest I found. Seems pretty fun. And the winner gets $500. But I'm not to into it for the money. I think I might jsut try and write it out and stuff. Get out there. Enter cheesy contests for money.
So keep rocking the free world
JaseyRay
Coming up: A youtube video I immensly enjoy.
"About A Girl" The Academy Is...
Hi
My vacation is going very well. XD. I love that emoticon. If I were a emoticon I woudl be that one. But yeah, I've been writing some one-shots in Bennett's POV. So fun. But I like Paul's POV better. But then again. They're pretty tied right now. And also I've been making some "Perfect Kisses" notes and what not. As well as a fun little sequel thing. It's pretty fun. It's nice. I like it. It's really fun to write.
I'm going to try and draw Mike Carden (The Academy Is... guitarist). It may/may not be difficult. The hardest person I've ever drawn is probably Martin Johnson of Boys Like Girls. The easiest is probably William Beckett and/or Oliver Sykes.
I'm going to buy some books too, if I can scrounge together some cash. I won't but I'll try.
So I'll be creativly booming by the end of the week I can feel it.
Booyakasha
JaseyRay
My vacation is going very well. XD. I love that emoticon. If I were a emoticon I woudl be that one. But yeah, I've been writing some one-shots in Bennett's POV. So fun. But I like Paul's POV better. But then again. They're pretty tied right now. And also I've been making some "Perfect Kisses" notes and what not. As well as a fun little sequel thing. It's pretty fun. It's nice. I like it. It's really fun to write.
I'm going to try and draw Mike Carden (The Academy Is... guitarist). It may/may not be difficult. The hardest person I've ever drawn is probably Martin Johnson of Boys Like Girls. The easiest is probably William Beckett and/or Oliver Sykes.
I'm going to buy some books too, if I can scrounge together some cash. I won't but I'll try.
So I'll be creativly booming by the end of the week I can feel it.
Booyakasha
JaseyRay
Friday, February 20, 2009
"Soul Meets Body" Death Cab For Cutie
Hi
I'm really sick all of a sudden. Maybe walking around in 40 degree weather in a sweatshirt caused this or sudden allergies. But I'm not so hot right now.
It sucks because I would have gotten at least two shirts done had I not been so prone to failure and stress. What I hate more than anything is people putting guidlines to my work or my art. People giving me limits and time periods. I'm fucked. Really. My parents are watching every little tihng I do and really there's nothing worse than that. They had a freak attack because I owe this girl like four shirts. I'll give her like five. I've ruined like two. Couldn't use two more and had to keep getting them.
And worst of all I can't write. I cna't do anything. I can't even bring myself ot play guitar. My love for music is waning. And I'm falling apart. I had an weird breathing attack thing today and about three instances when I could have burst out crying. I'm not in good shape. Not at all.
I'm not inspired by anything anymore. Listening to Radiohead was pretty cool. Busted out my notes (which I haven't touched in a while almost a month) wrote a couple things. Nothing big or anything. Nothing huge. I jsut started writing and it was all pronouns like "he" and "she" and what not. But I need something like that to push me more.
Not my parents.
But I go through weird periods where I'll forget about a band or something and it all comes back and hits me. Records I haven't touched in a while it all come right back. But recently it's all coming to a screeching hault.
I need to be inspired by something which is really impossible for me right now. I'm taking a short break from my writing. A week or so. Maybe less. I'm going to a show this weekend and hopefully that will help. And I'll be musically immersed for a while too. But I'll see you soon. I just need some rest with the computer thing.
I'll post art and drawings I do and some stuff I dig up and find interesting. But I'll update as soon as humanly possible.
Out-
JaseyRay.
I'm really sick all of a sudden. Maybe walking around in 40 degree weather in a sweatshirt caused this or sudden allergies. But I'm not so hot right now.
It sucks because I would have gotten at least two shirts done had I not been so prone to failure and stress. What I hate more than anything is people putting guidlines to my work or my art. People giving me limits and time periods. I'm fucked. Really. My parents are watching every little tihng I do and really there's nothing worse than that. They had a freak attack because I owe this girl like four shirts. I'll give her like five. I've ruined like two. Couldn't use two more and had to keep getting them.
And worst of all I can't write. I cna't do anything. I can't even bring myself ot play guitar. My love for music is waning. And I'm falling apart. I had an weird breathing attack thing today and about three instances when I could have burst out crying. I'm not in good shape. Not at all.
I'm not inspired by anything anymore. Listening to Radiohead was pretty cool. Busted out my notes (which I haven't touched in a while almost a month) wrote a couple things. Nothing big or anything. Nothing huge. I jsut started writing and it was all pronouns like "he" and "she" and what not. But I need something like that to push me more.
Not my parents.
But I go through weird periods where I'll forget about a band or something and it all comes back and hits me. Records I haven't touched in a while it all come right back. But recently it's all coming to a screeching hault.
I need to be inspired by something which is really impossible for me right now. I'm taking a short break from my writing. A week or so. Maybe less. I'm going to a show this weekend and hopefully that will help. And I'll be musically immersed for a while too. But I'll see you soon. I just need some rest with the computer thing.
I'll post art and drawings I do and some stuff I dig up and find interesting. But I'll update as soon as humanly possible.
Out-
JaseyRay.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
"The Quiet Things That Noone Ever Knows" Brand New
Hi
I'm bored. Trying to write. Unsuccessful. Trying to download all of Radiohead's career and catalogue. Seems unsuccesful but approaching 50% after baout 3 hours. Woot!
I've been reading. A lot of Fanfiction stuff. A lot of my own because I am thinking of what to do with myself. Writer's block sucksucksucks. Remember when I used to post four "Perfect Kisses" updates a day? Me too. What happened? I started watchign stand-up comedy and frying my creative self.
I have some t-shirts I need to do tomorrow. And I'll be wooping it up with my sister whose coming home tomorrow night XD and eating a 30 pound turkey with my family for the next few weeks. Stop and Shop sales are fucking awesome! Not really. Turkey gets boring. It puts me to sleep. Which makesm e forget how boring it tastes.
I don't know what to do about this writer's block. I'll start reading more. I need to. I blame those fucking Twilight Books. Eff you Edward. Hah! Take that!
I need to find another book to love and read. I can't though. I shall fail miserably. I like books about love or journies in people. I have no money to buy books anyway and when I discover a library with Chick Klosterman books I could kiss someone.
Oh well. I'll stop procrastinating.
JaseyRay.
I'm bored. Trying to write. Unsuccessful. Trying to download all of Radiohead's career and catalogue. Seems unsuccesful but approaching 50% after baout 3 hours. Woot!
I've been reading. A lot of Fanfiction stuff. A lot of my own because I am thinking of what to do with myself. Writer's block sucksucksucks. Remember when I used to post four "Perfect Kisses" updates a day? Me too. What happened? I started watchign stand-up comedy and frying my creative self.
I have some t-shirts I need to do tomorrow. And I'll be wooping it up with my sister whose coming home tomorrow night XD and eating a 30 pound turkey with my family for the next few weeks. Stop and Shop sales are fucking awesome! Not really. Turkey gets boring. It puts me to sleep. Which makesm e forget how boring it tastes.
I don't know what to do about this writer's block. I'll start reading more. I need to. I blame those fucking Twilight Books. Eff you Edward. Hah! Take that!
I need to find another book to love and read. I can't though. I shall fail miserably. I like books about love or journies in people. I have no money to buy books anyway and when I discover a library with Chick Klosterman books I could kiss someone.
Oh well. I'll stop procrastinating.
JaseyRay.
"At The Bottom of Everything" Bright Eyes
Hi
When you read "Last Place You Look" or anything with Bennett in it. Keep this image in the back of your head.
CREEPINESS! I didn't mean for it to happen. I though the image of him changed a little but I go to William Beckett's blog today and BAM! it's Bennett. (the tall one not the guy sitting). But Jesus. I start thinking I could change it and now I have no effing chance. God. It's like I know everythign abotu the poor guy. This has the potential of unintentionally turing in to a Band-Fiction. F***. I'm not this creepy.
When you read "Last Place You Look" or anything with Bennett in it. Keep this image in the back of your head.
CREEPINESS! I didn't mean for it to happen. I though the image of him changed a little but I go to William Beckett's blog today and BAM! it's Bennett. (the tall one not the guy sitting). But Jesus. I start thinking I could change it and now I have no effing chance. God. It's like I know everythign abotu the poor guy. This has the potential of unintentionally turing in to a Band-Fiction. F***. I'm not this creepy.
Screw it.
I'll write what I want.
JaseyRay
I'm so badass XD
I'll write what I want.
JaseyRay
I'm so badass XD
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
"Fly on the Wall" Miley Cyrus
Hi
"Fly on the Wall" by Miley Cyrus sucks. BUT I enjoy doing the creepy voice when it says "Fly on the Wall" in this song during "Everything We Had" by The Academy Is... which I get a kick out of. Hah.
I apologize for my lameness. LQTM (Laugh Quietly To Myself) because LOL (Laugh out Loud) is so overrated.
But I am the tetris champion. I'm like ranked three out of all of my friends on the old Face Book who play Tetris and I feel pretty cool so I decided to write a blog and apologize for the fact that I haven't been writing. I'm having a Writer's Smock as my main man William Beckett explained on HIS blog. It's like Writer's Block. It sucks. Oof.
I know I said I kicked it but I picked up another problem. I should go to TAA meetings as well as my TAIAA. I am a Tetris-aholic. I cannot stop playing it. It's amazing how someone could invent a game so entertaining annoying and frustrating that is so fucking fun to play.
But I have some old tricks up my sleeves. I'm pulling out some unused material for this rewrite. AND as a little bonus I'll be writing a little, you know, sequel perhaps? Tie between "The Last Place You Look" and "Perfect Kisses Lead To One Night Stands" that happens a few years later. Both are going to be UBER-fun.
Again excuse my lameness and dorkiness.
But HAH! I'm not going ot update tomorrow because HAH! I have managed to have a life. But I promise udating soon. Excuses aside.
Then again...
If I blog later that I decided to spend a few hours writing a "You know you love Mike Carden [from The Academy Is...] when..." list and couldn't work on my updates I owe you, slap me hard across the face with a Miley Cyrus cardboard cut-out.
ALSO! How creepy is that Edward Cullen dude? Not only do I hate the guy for fucking up Bennett in the middle of "Last Place You Look" BUT the guys is creepy. My friend has this cardboard cut-out of him. SOOO weird and sketchy.
TEAM JACOB!-
JaseyRay.
"Fly on the Wall" by Miley Cyrus sucks. BUT I enjoy doing the creepy voice when it says "Fly on the Wall" in this song during "Everything We Had" by The Academy Is... which I get a kick out of. Hah.
I apologize for my lameness. LQTM (Laugh Quietly To Myself) because LOL (Laugh out Loud) is so overrated.
But I am the tetris champion. I'm like ranked three out of all of my friends on the old Face Book who play Tetris and I feel pretty cool so I decided to write a blog and apologize for the fact that I haven't been writing. I'm having a Writer's Smock as my main man William Beckett explained on HIS blog. It's like Writer's Block. It sucks. Oof.
I know I said I kicked it but I picked up another problem. I should go to TAA meetings as well as my TAIAA. I am a Tetris-aholic. I cannot stop playing it. It's amazing how someone could invent a game so entertaining annoying and frustrating that is so fucking fun to play.
But I have some old tricks up my sleeves. I'm pulling out some unused material for this rewrite. AND as a little bonus I'll be writing a little, you know, sequel perhaps? Tie between "The Last Place You Look" and "Perfect Kisses Lead To One Night Stands" that happens a few years later. Both are going to be UBER-fun.
Again excuse my lameness and dorkiness.
But HAH! I'm not going ot update tomorrow because HAH! I have managed to have a life. But I promise udating soon. Excuses aside.
Then again...
If I blog later that I decided to spend a few hours writing a "You know you love Mike Carden [from The Academy Is...] when..." list and couldn't work on my updates I owe you, slap me hard across the face with a Miley Cyrus cardboard cut-out.
ALSO! How creepy is that Edward Cullen dude? Not only do I hate the guy for fucking up Bennett in the middle of "Last Place You Look" BUT the guys is creepy. My friend has this cardboard cut-out of him. SOOO weird and sketchy.
TEAM JACOB!-
JaseyRay.
"The Best of Me" The Starting Line
Hi
So my rewrite has hit a screeching halt and I find myself trying to write and when I hit my strive- BAM! E-mail pop-up "Niki FM updated her [super rad supreme] story" and I lose it. I read it and get into it. I'm totally digging it right now. Read it. Review it. You won't be sorry. I'll link it HERE.
It's weird. I started getting into my music by these totally epic classic songs. Like Jack's Mannequin "Dark Blue" and Brand New "Mix Tape" and when I got my first alternative press it had these sick bands on the cover. But one of my EPIC bands had an article and I loved it and read it.
What made me stop listening to The Starting Line was when the lead singer Kenny Vasoli said "I write my best songs when I'm high." And when you're 13 years young and anti-drugs you just sort of sit there and think I idolized this man and here he is saying drugs make him make art. And so I stopped listening to them.
That was until a few days ago when I was on YouTube and it recommended "The Best of Me" music video. And if you don't know that music video I'll link it HERE! Sooooo good. In love. And I downloaded all of their records (illegally but I plan on pulling what I did with Hawthorne Heights and am going to Newbury Comics and if they're all there and used I'll probably buy all of them) and I'm obsessed. They're on break but I can't wait till 2011 to see Kenny Vasoli and love him undeniably with the millions of other emo kids he's captured with his music.
So my rewrite has hit a screeching halt and I find myself trying to write and when I hit my strive- BAM! E-mail pop-up "Niki FM updated her [super rad supreme] story" and I lose it. I read it and get into it. I'm totally digging it right now. Read it. Review it. You won't be sorry. I'll link it HERE.
It's weird. I started getting into my music by these totally epic classic songs. Like Jack's Mannequin "Dark Blue" and Brand New "Mix Tape" and when I got my first alternative press it had these sick bands on the cover. But one of my EPIC bands had an article and I loved it and read it.
What made me stop listening to The Starting Line was when the lead singer Kenny Vasoli said "I write my best songs when I'm high." And when you're 13 years young and anti-drugs you just sort of sit there and think I idolized this man and here he is saying drugs make him make art. And so I stopped listening to them.
That was until a few days ago when I was on YouTube and it recommended "The Best of Me" music video. And if you don't know that music video I'll link it HERE! Sooooo good. In love. And I downloaded all of their records (illegally but I plan on pulling what I did with Hawthorne Heights and am going to Newbury Comics and if they're all there and used I'll probably buy all of them) and I'm obsessed. They're on break but I can't wait till 2011 to see Kenny Vasoli and love him undeniably with the millions of other emo kids he's captured with his music.
I painted a ceraminc turtle today with my little cousin. He slept over and I got him addicted to TAI TV (The Academy Is' webisode.) It's so funny. He's only five and thinks its hilarious too.
Au Revior-
JaseyRay.
Monday, February 16, 2009
"Silver Lining" Rilo Kiley
Hi
I keep and eye on the Sarah Dessen catagories. I read a lot of stuff but never really review. I tried to start being the review person for someone like some do for me. And actually it got really frustrating. I started messaging back and forth with the girl and she was telling me about her writing and stuff. And her stories and where they are going and everything.
And then she was gone.
I was pretty mad. Her story sounded pretty good. But I don't know. It just sort of came to a screeching hault(spelling?) and she stopped. But last night she made an amazing comeback. And she has a new story. You should check it out. I am obsesssssssssed.
Not only because we share a love for The Academy Is... (although she is a Butcher fangirl while Mike Carden is obviouslyobviouslyobviously the hottest member of the band) and my main man Anthony Green BUT she writes some of the sickest stuff ever.
Her name is Niki FM (aka a reference to my favorite Hawthorne Heights song!!)
Check out her new story. It's soooooo good.
I'm outside of your window
with my radio-
JaseyRay
I keep and eye on the Sarah Dessen catagories. I read a lot of stuff but never really review. I tried to start being the review person for someone like some do for me. And actually it got really frustrating. I started messaging back and forth with the girl and she was telling me about her writing and stuff. And her stories and where they are going and everything.
And then she was gone.
I was pretty mad. Her story sounded pretty good. But I don't know. It just sort of came to a screeching hault(spelling?) and she stopped. But last night she made an amazing comeback. And she has a new story. You should check it out. I am obsesssssssssed.
Not only because we share a love for The Academy Is... (although she is a Butcher fangirl while Mike Carden is obviouslyobviouslyobviously the hottest member of the band) and my main man Anthony Green BUT she writes some of the sickest stuff ever.
Her name is Niki FM (aka a reference to my favorite Hawthorne Heights song!!)
Check out her new story. It's soooooo good.
I'm outside of your window
with my radio-
JaseyRay
Saturday, February 14, 2009
"Valentine" The Get Up Kids
Hi
So I've been listening to some Elliott Smith stuff which are awful for my rewrite for "Perfect Kisses." If you don't know who Elliott Smith is, he's this amazing songwriter. Five years ago he committed suicide and even though I was suffering the tragedy any third grader would when your childhood/future husband moves thirty minutes away and you are moving across town to a new house when it happened and didn't know there was music outside of Mix 98.5, I idolize that man now.
But I won't have an update this weekend. It's taking longer BUT I'm getting into a really good place with the whole story. It's gonna' be fresh and new and everything. I'm on chapter 11 right now and putting in a little more ironies and little things here and there. A little more substance. Everything.
I also have "Leaving Through The Window" mapped out in my notes. Every single event summarized in about eight pages. It's mad intense. I jsut had to sneak in a little Suburban Boston slang-a-lang. And a little dorky phrase I made up off of the top of my head.
So yeah, I'm expiriencing what it's like ot be an only child (my sister being in Florida) and so far it has it's pros and cons. The major con being my parents not understanding when I beg them to let me finish a chapter and monitoring my computer use and wondering what I'm doing when I'm hacking music off of MySpace when they would normally be wigging out at my sister and bugging her.
And worst of all they took Donnie Darko off of On Demand (sad face). If you don't see that movie in your lifetime your missing out. Greates movie ever even for me- the worst person to watch a movie with.
Story of the Week: In my homeroom we had two representatives for the Spelling Bee. One got suspended the other had mono so... my english teachers forces me into taking the position. I'm fine in front of crowds. Except I got words like "earthenware" while other kids had "powwow" and "ninja." And to make it worse myself running the phrase- non-acronymed too- "FML" over and over again in my head led me to spell Ventilate starting with an F. I can't wait till I'm forty and can laugh harder about this than I am three days later.
Life is Funny-
JaseyRay
So I've been listening to some Elliott Smith stuff which are awful for my rewrite for "Perfect Kisses." If you don't know who Elliott Smith is, he's this amazing songwriter. Five years ago he committed suicide and even though I was suffering the tragedy any third grader would when your childhood/future husband moves thirty minutes away and you are moving across town to a new house when it happened and didn't know there was music outside of Mix 98.5, I idolize that man now.
But I won't have an update this weekend. It's taking longer BUT I'm getting into a really good place with the whole story. It's gonna' be fresh and new and everything. I'm on chapter 11 right now and putting in a little more ironies and little things here and there. A little more substance. Everything.
I also have "Leaving Through The Window" mapped out in my notes. Every single event summarized in about eight pages. It's mad intense. I jsut had to sneak in a little Suburban Boston slang-a-lang. And a little dorky phrase I made up off of the top of my head.
So yeah, I'm expiriencing what it's like ot be an only child (my sister being in Florida) and so far it has it's pros and cons. The major con being my parents not understanding when I beg them to let me finish a chapter and monitoring my computer use and wondering what I'm doing when I'm hacking music off of MySpace when they would normally be wigging out at my sister and bugging her.
And worst of all they took Donnie Darko off of On Demand (sad face). If you don't see that movie in your lifetime your missing out. Greates movie ever even for me- the worst person to watch a movie with.
Story of the Week: In my homeroom we had two representatives for the Spelling Bee. One got suspended the other had mono so... my english teachers forces me into taking the position. I'm fine in front of crowds. Except I got words like "earthenware" while other kids had "powwow" and "ninja." And to make it worse myself running the phrase- non-acronymed too- "FML" over and over again in my head led me to spell Ventilate starting with an F. I can't wait till I'm forty and can laugh harder about this than I am three days later.
Life is Funny-
JaseyRay
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
"Shorty" The Get Up Kids
Hi
So I thought this was interesting. Reading this once I finished "The Last Place You Look" and seeing how much has changed. I thought Bennett Williams' name was Adam when I staretd writing this story in my notes. Turns out in my first notes of this story, his name was Bennett.
"He had hair longer than a lot of girls at this school. He was dressed normally like himself. Tight jeans and a shirt hugging his long skinny body. But he jsut sat agaisnt the stage next to his guitar case. Talking to Jill, a girl in my math class.
With Dave backstage I sat alone closeby them. Not close enough to hear them but close. Jill got up saying goodbye. And she walked away.
I watched him. He sat back sipping a bottle of ater. He leaned his head back against the stage for a minute. And I looked away my attention drawn to a freshman belting out some showtune.
When I looked back at him. His eres were on me. We made eye contact for a long time. I tried not to blink. I felt weird maybe he wasn't looking at me. So I blinked.
He smiled. And it changed his entire face. He had been looking at me. And I smiled back at him. Before looking back at the stage.
Dave's band played next. They were a shoo-in. And I looked at him. Dave as he sand. He'd look at me occasionally smile and wink. But I watched Bennett. He actually watched Dave's band. And I knew he knew they were good. Everyone did.
The band was packing up and Dave jumped down from the stage and came over to me. I kissed him. Said how good he was. And meant it.
He sat next to me. And kissed my cheek. Saying how pretty I looked. Then we both looked up.
Bennett was sitting on a stool with his guitar. "This guy," Dave pointed. "Is all over myspace. He's legitimate. But too emo, way too emo."
I nodded as Bennett started playing. Some simple quiet chords. Then Dave got up to get a drink from a vending machine. But I watched him so, so carefully. He looked up bringing his mouth to the microphone. His eyes fell on me.
And he started singing.
And he was amazing.
* * *
The next talent show rehearsal I didn't see Bennett and I was nervous. He didn't get in. But I saw him. His hair was shorter. I stared almost. He looked very good looking.
Dave was talking to him. I went over to them trying not to be weird. Dave introduced me as I walked up. "Hi," I said.
"Hey," He said. He smiled at me. "You're in my history class, right?"
I nodded. "Yeah," I said.
Then Dave went back to talking about music with him."
I wrote this during my first sitting of Fast Times at Barrington High. I forget which song but I think it was before "After The Last Midtown Show"- which was the song I anticipated more than anything.
When that happened I sort of took the skeleton of that and applied it to this story. And if you are unfamiliar with the band The Academy Is... I can't stress enough how incredible they are and how they've impacted my life, my art, and my writing.
And I'll be working on changing the characters around so it isn't some sick creepy FanFiction. Because I think I drew too much out of their music and images associated with the band. I jsut hope I don't ruin it.
But we need to fix the things we need to fix. It won't be a complete rewrite. Maybe, but I'm not sure I want to start thinking about that.
Edit: I'm officially ten years younger than William Beckett today. Happy Birthday Billvy :]
Byesies-
JaseyRay.
So I thought this was interesting. Reading this once I finished "The Last Place You Look" and seeing how much has changed. I thought Bennett Williams' name was Adam when I staretd writing this story in my notes. Turns out in my first notes of this story, his name was Bennett.
"He had hair longer than a lot of girls at this school. He was dressed normally like himself. Tight jeans and a shirt hugging his long skinny body. But he jsut sat agaisnt the stage next to his guitar case. Talking to Jill, a girl in my math class.
With Dave backstage I sat alone closeby them. Not close enough to hear them but close. Jill got up saying goodbye. And she walked away.
I watched him. He sat back sipping a bottle of ater. He leaned his head back against the stage for a minute. And I looked away my attention drawn to a freshman belting out some showtune.
When I looked back at him. His eres were on me. We made eye contact for a long time. I tried not to blink. I felt weird maybe he wasn't looking at me. So I blinked.
He smiled. And it changed his entire face. He had been looking at me. And I smiled back at him. Before looking back at the stage.
Dave's band played next. They were a shoo-in. And I looked at him. Dave as he sand. He'd look at me occasionally smile and wink. But I watched Bennett. He actually watched Dave's band. And I knew he knew they were good. Everyone did.
The band was packing up and Dave jumped down from the stage and came over to me. I kissed him. Said how good he was. And meant it.
He sat next to me. And kissed my cheek. Saying how pretty I looked. Then we both looked up.
Bennett was sitting on a stool with his guitar. "This guy," Dave pointed. "Is all over myspace. He's legitimate. But too emo, way too emo."
I nodded as Bennett started playing. Some simple quiet chords. Then Dave got up to get a drink from a vending machine. But I watched him so, so carefully. He looked up bringing his mouth to the microphone. His eyes fell on me.
And he started singing.
And he was amazing.
* * *
The next talent show rehearsal I didn't see Bennett and I was nervous. He didn't get in. But I saw him. His hair was shorter. I stared almost. He looked very good looking.
Dave was talking to him. I went over to them trying not to be weird. Dave introduced me as I walked up. "Hi," I said.
"Hey," He said. He smiled at me. "You're in my history class, right?"
I nodded. "Yeah," I said.
Then Dave went back to talking about music with him."
I wrote this during my first sitting of Fast Times at Barrington High. I forget which song but I think it was before "After The Last Midtown Show"- which was the song I anticipated more than anything.
When that happened I sort of took the skeleton of that and applied it to this story. And if you are unfamiliar with the band The Academy Is... I can't stress enough how incredible they are and how they've impacted my life, my art, and my writing.
And I'll be working on changing the characters around so it isn't some sick creepy FanFiction. Because I think I drew too much out of their music and images associated with the band. I jsut hope I don't ruin it.
But we need to fix the things we need to fix. It won't be a complete rewrite. Maybe, but I'm not sure I want to start thinking about that.
Edit: I'm officially ten years younger than William Beckett today. Happy Birthday Billvy :]
Byesies-
JaseyRay.
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