"Whispering Actually" Ace Enders

Hi

Rainie's POV

We were sitting in his room. Of all places. We were just talking. Smiling and remembering. Talking about his life as a rockstar and my life as a writer. He asked me to bring over a book of my short stories that came out recently. I promised him I would.

And we talked about his new record. We debated about it in a more friendly way then two years ago and before. But it was nice. It's weird. There's so much that can change but in the end everything is basically the same.

He played me a newer song him and Bennett wrote a month ago. And he seemed happy. He was smiling and talking. It was good. I felt liek we needed it. And suddenly it was late. I looked and saw it was later than I thought.

There was a little edge in the air. I felt bad. He had to see me. I was close to having another attack. But I fought it off. Or somehow I did. I waited for it. He was quiet looking at me. "What?" I asked.

"Are you okay?" He asked suddenly. He paused. "I mean, when I scared you, what was that?"

I paused. I trusted Paul. He knew so much about me. He knew when I was lying and when I was hurt. He knew me liek I knew myself. But better, especially after he broke up with me. I don't know who I am anymore.

I crossed my arms. And looked down. "I am jsut having a few little emotional things. Like stress and stuff. And I just get a little jumpy sometimes and scared. And I jsut lose my breateh sometimes. I take pills and stuff but they don't work. And I don't know, it's weird." I said.

He was quiet. Looking at me. Studying me. Everything changed. "Are you getting better?"

I paused. I nodded. "A little." I said. "They started out really bad, and they've gotten better."

He looked down at the ground. He looked at me. "Are you happy?" He asked.

I wasn't ready for this. Here he was. Paul Spinella. Of all people. How could he ask me this. I swallowed. And my throat started squeezing in. My eyes started to water with the pain that returned to my chest. I looked down wiping my eyes. They didn't stop pouring out. I wasn't wearing much make up as it was and soon it was soaked into my sleeves of my sweatshirt. The black. All of it was gone. And suddenly. His arms moved around me.

I remained stiff taking in his smell. He smelled the same. I was suddenly seventeen again. Feeling these arms around me. I closed my eyes falling into them and held him too. And felt like crying more. It hurt so bad going back ot being 17.

He moved away looking at me. He wiped away under my eyes. I saw traces of black on his thumbs. And I laughed a little. Wiping under my eyes and pushing his away. "I'm a mess, I know." I said. "This isn't part of anything. It's just been hard."

He nodded. "I know," He said. "Me too."

I looked at him. His eyes were such a nice green still. He was the same eighteen year old boy I fell in love with. I swallowed. Finding my breathe taken away in a different way. He looked so honest. He looked so real. And he held my face suddenly. All the heaviness and lead in my chest was gone. And he leaned in. His lips moving against mine.

I closed my eyes. Kissing him back. There was an uneasiness inside of me. But we were young again. We were the same two people who fell in love. It was the same perfect kiss that sealed our fate for the four years we lived attached at the hip. The same kiss that made me break every rule I made for myself. And changed everything.

That's what pushed me back from him. I moved back. And he moved with me but stopped. I left him here leaning in awkwardly. I swallowed. It was still him. And I was still me.

I stood up walking over to the door. I looked back at him. He was jsut sittign there watching me.

Paul POV

She was so scared. Of everything. I could tell. I sat there. Heavy with regret. She was at the door. Her hand holding the knob and ready to go. But she turned. I watched her. Taking her in one more time. This was it. I don't know if we could ever be the same.

I loved her. She was leaving. This was it.

She paused. And suddenly I watched the door close. She breathed. Locking it. I watched her carefully. She jsut stood there. Thinkign if this was a good idea or not. I waited holding my breathe.

There was a pause. Time froze. And suddenly I felt myself just change. I was eighteen again. She came over to me slowly. And I looked at her softly. She looked back at me. I stood up, moving close to her. I touched her face and kissed her again. Her mouth was so sweet. Nothing seems to have changed.